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第89章 陶桩菊的外号倒装句(第1页)

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邬稻现陶桩菊总是洗手,只要做完一件马上就洗手,以前这小子并没有这个习惯,于是邬稻忍不住问:“桩菊,你今天行为反常,总是洗手怎么回事”

陶桩菊:“稻哥,都是我这个破习惯引起的不幸,让我感觉手不干净”

邬稻好奇的问:“遇到什么不幸了,说出来听一下,或许我还能帮到你解除你的心病”

陶桩菊:“稻哥,我说了你可不要跟别人说,大家都知道这事那我可就没脸见人了”

陶桩菊的回答引起了邬稻的好奇,在向陶桩菊保证自己不往外说,于是陶桩菊讲诉了自己昨天遇到的不幸。

陶桩菊住的是城中村,昨天加班晚上回家,为了抄近路,陶桩菊没有走原先的小路,而是走了一条小巷,他认为会近一些,当他走到一转弯处时,一个女的迎面走来,转弯是盲区俩人都没想到对面会有人,所以撞到了一起,还没等陶桩菊开口,对方先说话了,不是道歉而是问:“大哥,玩不玩”

?陶桩菊经常听朋友讲有流萤拉客,没想到今天真碰上了,陶桩菊月光族,距离工资还有一周,所以这几天都在吃方便面,陶桩菊知道自己没钱,但是忍不住好奇的问:“多少钱”

小姐伸出了一个指头,陶桩菊明白是一百元,陶桩菊推脱:“玩不起”

小姐理解成玩的时候硬不起,于是一把攥住了陶桩菊的下面说:“哥,我技术好,不管你什么情况都能雄起,让你做一回硬汉,享受一下硬汉的成就感”

陶桩菊想走开,可是身体却很诚实鬼使神差的跟小姐走了。

完事之后陶桩菊没钱付款,小姐威胁他要去公安局告他强奸,陶桩菊一听要去公安局,马上服软了,经过和小姐的协商,陶桩菊为小姐做一星期家务,包括洗衣服,洗袜子,洗内裤,洗脚,擦地。

邬稻:“哎呦,一周的家务劳动可不止一百元,为什么不给他,你要没钱我借你”

陶桩菊:“稻哥,这不是有钱没钱的事,给她钱我心里过不去这个坎”

邬稻:“为什么这么纠结让你不想给钱”

陶桩菊:“稻哥,我可是处男,让她一个不知道过了多少水的女人给糟蹋了,她应该付我钱才对,让我给她钱,我心里过不去这个坎”

邬稻打趣说:“那你就得伺候人家做家务了,不过,我看你总洗手,是不是落下病根儿了”

陶桩菊:“稻哥,我这受苦受难的,怎么感觉你幸灾乐祸”

邬稻:“没有,只是觉得有意思,如果你当时说话不用倒装句。直接回答她:“不玩,不想”

或者你不说话,直接走掉不就行了,那样人家小姐就不会误会了,你也不用给人家洗内裤洗袜子了,所以我好奇,你说话为什么总是用倒装句,为什么不用正常的语序。

陶桩菊:“从小由奶奶带大,模仿奶奶说话的习惯,不知不觉自己也养成了习惯,改不了。没想到用这种语气说话,还会被小姐占了我的处男金身,稻哥,你说我怎么才能从痛苦中解脱”

邬稻:“当局者迷,小姐是在吓唬你,她是不会报警的,因为她明知道做的是非法生意,只是你没有社会经验被她拿捏了”

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