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第八十八章 我的奇葩自卫行动(第1页)

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我急忙回到了屋里,找来了两个塑料袋,养母纳闷地问:“常书,常书,别惹事啊,常书,你干啥啊······”

她充满了担心。

“哼哼哼,没事儿。”

我笑着就跑了,大姐还在吵吵着呢。

我到后院的厕所里,把屎和尿装混着进了两个袋子里,一只手提着,一只手捏着鼻子,就跑着过来了。

谁看见我谁躲我,我提着到了大姐的门口,那两个妇女嘴角冒着白沫,还在和大姐吵吵着。我先是提着伸到她们的跟前,她们突然醒悟过来了,急忙往后退几步。我再提着跟几步,凑近她们,她们再退几步,我再跟几步。

就这样,她们大叫着:“大稳,你没有良心,大过年的,不借给我钱啊,不借给钱,我们咋过年,啊,大稳,你没有良心······”

还蹦跳着,拍着自己的右大腿。

看着离我大姐家和我们的家,有距离了,我停下来,把盛屎尿的袋子,放在地上指着她们说:“哼哼哼,我告诉你们,快滚,如果你们再敢骂一句,我就给你吃屎。”

其中,一个妇女还没有高呢,但却很泼辣,直接用头撞我,“给我吃,给我吃,给我吃······”

她非常懊恼地说。

我气坏了,不讲理了,我也不嫌臭了。先一把推开她,直接提起地上的一袋子屎尿,对着她的头脸,就波过去了。

刹那间,那个妇女的头脸上,都是屎尿了,她顿时恶心地蹲在地上了,一边自己擦着,一边呕吐着。

围观的人,以及另外一个妇女都“啊”

地一声。反正,就这样了,我索性上手了,直接抓着那些屎尿,往她嘴里抹着。

另外一个看着,想过来帮助她,我趁机一把抓住了,顺手提起另外一袋屎尿,直接盖在她的脸上,再用手往她们的嘴里抹着。

她们两个恶心地蹲着呕吐着,擦着,往地上甩着。我在地上的泥土里,擦着我的手,站起来,指着她们说:“哼哼哼,回去,告诉你们的亲戚,别以为我姐夫老实,你们就欺负他。以后,谁要再敢欺负我姐夫,我就把家给点了!”

我说着的时候,来了几个男人,驾着她们走了。

她们走远了,大姐来了,笑着搂着我的肩膀,“还是我弟弟,走,回家,咱好好洗洗手,哈哈哈。”

她说着还晃着我的肩膀说。

大姐提来了一桶水,拿来了洗衣粉、香皂的,给我打着手,“常书,你不是老欺负你姐夫吗,这次,为啥要帮助他呢,哈哈哈。”

大姐笑着说。

“哼哼哼,我欺负,哪是欺负啊,是和姐夫闹着玩。我们这是家庭内部矛盾,那都是外来侵略者,欺负我姐夫,我多没有面子啊。再说啦,那流氓团伙,我都不怕,我还怕两个无赖的老娘们啊。”

我笑着说。

站在我们身边的我爸爸妈妈和养父母,都笑了,“就你能,我看你吃饭的时候,咋吃,哈哈哈。”

养母笑着说。

任何事情都有两面性!

后遗症是明显的!

大姐为了感谢我,准备了一桌子丰盛的饭菜,把放寒假的上大学的、上高中的哥哥姐姐们,都请到了一起,开饭的时候,大姐端起了杯子对大家说:“感谢,爸爸妈妈,感谢喜子叔和春儿婶,感谢弟弟妹妹们,尤其感谢我们的大英雄常书先生,见义勇为啊,哈哈哈,来干一杯!”

大家看到的是一桌子大鱼大肉,我看到的也是。

同时啊,我看到什么都会有挥之不去的屎尿的臭和恶心。

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