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48

又是一年啊,没想到还有人会看到这篇文,谢谢你们。

有时漫漫长夜度日如年,有时飞一样就过去了。今年春晚依旧越来越难看,但生活正在慢慢好起来,不是吗?

我已经放下了吧。

前一阵看了些闲书,感叹中文真是精巧美丽啊,我的中文已经退化得不行了。总想着有空多看点中文书,但大抵是没空。最近总是偏头痛,用眼也过度,所以有时候打开文档想写点东西也是心有余而力不足。

生活中许多事情悬而未决,不过新的一年会迎接许多变化,希望是个好年。

婚后我提出和夏知禾openrelationship,不过我知道这样往往都不怎么走得下去。是我的问题,觉得对不起她,所以想尽可能给她自由。但她很执着,每每令我十分感动,第一次敞开心扉聊了些我的过去。我想我是爱她的。

从前苦于无法摆脱的亲族家人,如今一个接一个死去老去,我自己的身体也在慢慢衰老,前两周发现眼角又多了几根细纹。奶奶走后,从未有过的孤独感涌上来一点一点蚕食湮没我,开始想要一些从前从未渴望过的东西,比如家,甚至孩子。我母亲和弟弟有来看我。弟弟不算讨厌,只是不熟。

她比我更早经历这些,我慢慢开始理解她为什么愿意攀附着董家生活。孤独无依地生活并不容易。

今天睡到半夜的时候我忽然被持续的敲门声吵醒,半梦半醒间不想去理会就由它敲去。说不定只是某个醉鬼敲错门了而已,我翻了个身继续睡。身边的位置是空的,夏知禾近两个月工作日都在另一个城市出差。

可是门外的人不知道怎么了这么能坚持,把我越敲越清醒。我坐起来,拿起手机,皱起眉头怀疑自己是不是头晕眼花了,凌晨一点赵一锦给我打了好几个电话还发了一连串消息。我揉了揉眼,点开一条:

[小辫子:伏羲!你他妈快点起床去开门!]

[小辫子:醒醒!不然我也没的睡了!]

[小辫子:喂!!!]

还有几个夸张爆炸的表情。

我呼出一口起床气去门边,心想是什么人这样扰人清梦,希望别是出了什么事吧。

“Who’sthere?”

我向门眼望出去看不见人。

过了几秒我听见门外窸窸窣窣的声音,有人动了动但没出声。心下奇怪,但想反正赵一锦都这么说了,大概不是什么危险的人。打开门。

门开启了一条缝,缝慢慢变大。

从门缝里我看见一个湿漉漉的小动物,衣服上和头发上沾了水珠。她原本靠着门坐在地上,现在爬起来面对着我。那双熟悉的眉眼眨了眨,背着个包,抱着她的小琴也不说话。没等我反应过来就自己猫着身子从门缝里钻了进来,像只碰瓷的小野猫。

我恍惚了,以为见到了十几年前的人。

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