第4章 姓氏(第2页)
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“烦请高人与在下回府,一来奉上治病诊金,二来有要事向想请高人指点迷津一二。”
大臣请这看似普通不能再普通的江湖郎中回了府。
回到府中,大臣自是盛情款待,菜过三巡,酒过五味,听了一桌子的废话,高人终于忍不住问道:“大人府中可有病患?”
“没有”
“大人身边的同僚可有病患?”
“没有”
“大人这是为何?”
在这郎中一再追问之下,大臣终于将皇帝生病,自己如何被贬娓娓道来。并向郎中求赐良方,以解皇上病苦。
郎中说道:“小人从北方游历而来,对于皇上的病患早已有所耳闻,只是大人非要请赐良方,也不无可能。这皇上以前当过乞丐,和尚,又一路杀将过来,在这皑皑白骨之上做了万民的臣子,心中有杀戮,心中有白骨,如今皇朝未稳,你们这些老臣又未离世,下一任皇上如何坐稳这龙椅,件件事烦心,他如何吃的香,睡的稳,现下干呕,当干呕之后,便是吐血了,到时他这边吐血,那边便开始杀人了!”
大臣许久未言,只是一杯接着一杯喝着酒,时不时的看一眼这相貌平凡的郎中,最后刚要张嘴,却被郎中打断:“这病并非难治,只是大人想不想?”
“想!”
大臣终于忍不住。
“这病如何得来,只因他当年腥风血雨,数次从死人堆里钻进爬出,中了尸毒,年久日深,再加上心中皇权覆压,戾气日增,尸毒加重,才得此怪病,想解此怪病也容易的很,只要将皇上自身连续三日排泄的屎尿集于桦树桶内,再在阴凉处闷上三日,然后放于面前,使劲儿的闻,不停的闻,要闻够半个时辰,中途不可停歇,直到呕出9大碗的黑水,此病已去!大人如想回京复职,可倚仗此方。”
“郎中兄弟,我如果回京把此方献与皇上,是不是相当于双手捧着自己的人头跪在皇庭之上?话说回来,你到底是郎中还是皇上派你来害我的?”
“那大人信不信呢?!”
数月后。大臣和郎中一起跪在皇宫中,朱元璋说道:“你二人献上的良方让咱重新活了过来,咱想着不用多活,再活个2o年,看着皇子长成也就安心的去了。你二人献方有功,你官复原职,并赏银万两。你,你叫个啥?”
“回皇上,小民没姓,家里想让小民识文断字,便叫个阿文!”
“哦,没姓,那咱赐你个姓吧,你献上的良药屎黄屎黄的,你就姓屎吧,算了,还是姓黄吧,姓屎难听了些,天下百姓如知道你今后姓了屎,该骂咱心胸狭窄了!以后你就叫黄文吧,记住是黄文,不是黄文吧,免得跟咱重名。
另外也赏银万量!”
“原来你黄美人的姓是这么来的,那族谱呢?”
“笨蛋,我祖上受了皇赏,自然家大业大,家中百子千孙,修个族谱有何难?!不过这族谱却也有些来历!”
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