第49章(第1页)
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这粥很好吃……
只是昭华有些神不思蜀,汤匙无意识敲碰到瓷碗,发出叮咚响声。她低着头问:“为什么那么想要出梵罗?”
她从来都看不清自己究竟想要的是什么,她背离一切想要去做的事情却在即将功成之际,生出了退缩之心。
她看着兴致冲冲的小和尚,就像是看着万年之前的凤凰。
她做这一切的初衷其实和祂们并不一样,凤凰为了天地众生,小和尚大抵也是为了这些庸庸碌碌的生灵吧……
她,其实不太能够理解为了他人舍身赴死的信念。
犹似同族,兔死狐悲吗。
可,她生来便孤身天地。
这一切……
她只是,累了。
但她又总希望她见过的人、神、仙妖精灵都好好的、开开心心的、用一种祂们自己想要的方式存在于天地之间。
生与死,都无所谓。
所以——
若是,只她一个人便好了。
她觉得小和尚挺想要活着的,用生命存在的形式去揽山河天地。
莲明小和尚呼呼噜噜两碗菜粥下肚,犹不尽兴,笑眯着眼道:“此刻,便是为了这一碗粥。”
昭华不解:“一碗粥?”
莲明放下碗,面朝街市,视线穿过老婆婆和熏着白汽的灶台,是佛塔庇护下的众生:“梵罗之境多为凡人,婆婆今年百岁余三,前年她生了一场大病,我曾为她算过一命,若天地无灾祸,她寿数可得二百三十八岁,福寿皆安康。”
“可若是,百年之内天地变幻……。”
小和尚语气一顿,“不止是她,我佛塔上下无一活口,尽数赴死洪荒,便如万年之前那般。”
“小莲花,粥喝完了,自己来盛啊。”
婆婆苍老慈祥的声音传来。
莲明立即挥出手臂,高声开心道:“来了,婆婆!”
莲明又端来一碗粥,却没有动,低着眉眼,是有些凉薄的慈悲相:“小和尚志向没有万年之前生祭湟水岸那群前辈们般心怀悲悯,伟岸高洁,我只希望养我育我伴我之人——”
“生而安康祥乐,终而寿数圆满。”
“好好活着,就足够了。”
可这世间,活着已经很难了,好好活着就更难了。
昭华沉默许久:“净山同我讲的那段经文,何时觉悟出来的。”
莲明眸眼似悲带笑,弯唇道:“天轨如直,不可回环,身处崩裂之岁,便如生而危局,终日惶惶,难以安眠。”
“小和尚悟性自觉浅薄,是受了上一任佛子点拨,如此而已。”
“施主在凤凰神山,难道不曾见过吗?”
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