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沾洲叹讲的什么故事
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第96章(第1页)

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祝神的手从门框放下来,他很慢地转过身,地面积雪的反光刺得祝神的双目干涩难受。他低垂着眼皮说:“回去吧。”

贺兰破像听不懂,又问一遍:“你不和我走吗?”

祝神不说话。

贺兰破向前挪了半步:“祝双衣?”

“贺兰公子,”

祝神抬眼将他打断,目光平静,了无波澜,“我是祝神,不是祝双衣。”

他孑然立在门前,像被框在这场雪景之中,从未踏出半步,伶仃地独自萧索着:“你要找的祝双衣,十二年前就死了。”

怕贺兰破不死心,他又补充问道:“不记得了吗?那个春天,他送你回府,之后便再没出现。”

贺兰破的刀滑倒在地上,他的脸上浮现出一种孩童般稚嫩的茫然:“你不是祝双衣吗?”

“我?”

祝神显然整理好了腹稿,对着他微微一笑:“你是说喜荣华的祝老板,还是丘墟的祝神?我唯利是图,贪生怕死,服药成瘾,忘恩负义,是酒楼的二掌柜,也是凤辜戚长敛唯一的弟子。这些都是我,但没有一个是祝双衣。贺兰小公子€€€€”

他顿了顿,一边回头进房一边道:“除夕要到了,早日回家吧。”

庭院归于寂静,窗纱后出现一抹模糊的剪影,兴许祝神在隔窗凝望,兴许没有。

戚长敛也不说话,他像当年守在乱葬岗旁边一样守在廊中,饶有兴趣地观察着贺兰破几时离开。

贺兰破对着空荡的门框出了神,过了很久,他把指上的玛瑙戒指取下丢进雪里,拾起雪掖,慢慢朝外走去。

祝神隔着窗纱看见贺兰破的背影:他的头有些许杂乱,风霜过后未经打理,同他的离去的脚步一样,是散乱支离的。祝神讲体面,他自小也这么教贺兰破,要得体,爱收拾,出现在人前不说光鲜,总得干净。贺兰破得体了这么些年,连在他面前也舍不得出一点丑,最后一不留神,又成了站在路边找不到家的人,从里到外都不体面。

戚长敛慢悠悠踱步进房,祝神正背对大门,扶桌站立着,一言不。

“舍得让他走了?”

他站在祝神身后,其实很想凑过去看看祝神是什么神情,又觉得无非是冷脸一张,想想也没意思,干脆就这么站着不动,望着祝神的头顶说,“两个人分开哭,不如抱在一起对着哭。”

“我不是舍得他,”

祝神说,“我只是怕痛。”

祝神声音低低的,脊背起伏着,缓缓吸了口气:“那天他把我关在房里,整整一个下午,从白天到傍晚,我在地上不停地磕头,喊他的名字,我求他不要关我,要么给我药,要么让我死,可他不应。不管我闹出多大的动静,他就是守在房门口一声不吭。我被绑在地上,全身都在打颤,好像有一百条毒蛇从骨头缝里往外钻,我浑身湿透了,分不清哪里在流血,哪里在失禁€€€€眼睛,鼻子,腿,额头,甚至是下半身,我鼻腔里全是水,混着泪和血的味道,闻过之后它们流进我嘴里,又从嘴角淌出去,那种气息令人作呕,更令人绝望。可我当时连气味也顾不上,我只想吃药。断药的痛我忍过一次便再也不想尝试第二次,我不怪他逼着我戒,他是为了我好,他想我活下去。可他没有经历过,他不知道这有多痛。后来我熬过去了,像具尸体一样躺在地上,他走进来时我身上的血已经凝固,身上和腿间的水却都没干,我躺在自己的体液里,他抱着我一遍一遍地打理,像当年我捡到他一样€€€€可这哪能一样呢?他是八岁昏迷倒地的孩子,我是活生生的人,是他的哥哥。他长大了,知道在我面前遮丑怕羞,手受了伤也会挡住不让我看,岂知我不是呢?今天我叫他回去,他心里多难过,也不及我那天躺在地上时的万分之一。我不是故意要他难过,我只是怕痛。我不想再被关起来经历一次那样的下午了。”

“他走的时候眼睛红了,我知道他回去的路上又会一个人躲起来哭,他每感觉到祝双衣的影子在我身上流失一次就哭一次。小鱼还是那个小鱼,可我已经不是祝双衣了。只是没想到有一天……”

祝神叹了口气,自顾自地呢喃,“我和他也会走到两败俱伤的局面。”

更没想到的是,悠悠天地间,戚长敛竟然成了他唯一的倾诉对象。

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