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男狗狗和女狗狗有什么区别
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我仔细思考严肃作答:“本来是很想去武汉大学看海的,不过最近听说又开始流行去北京看太平洋了,可能再过几天,别的地方也会出现公交车乘风破浪的新景观,所以暂时还没有拿定主意。”

他:“…………”

我得意:“嘿嘿,想靠忽悠娶老婆,世上哪有这么便宜的事儿?”

“这样啊……”

何决想了想:“那就算了。”

“……你!”

他又无辜又无奈地叹口气:“我既不是富二代也不是官二代更不是军二代,三十而立的人了,却还是一穷二白两手空空。我的能力一般野心也一般,不会溜须拍马也不会汲汲钻营,这辈子温饱小康是没问题,但肯定不能大富大贵。而且我长得不算帅脾气不算好缺点不算少,跟我这样的人过一辈子,实在需要很大的勇气才行。你嘛……”

我鼻孔朝天做冷艳不屑状:“休想拿这种欲扬先抑的法子来激我,俗,忒俗!”

他挑挑眉梢,慢语悠悠:“我想说的是,你虽然胆小懦弱遇到事情就只会装鸵鸟,跟勇敢实在没什么关系,但胜在有一颗朽木的心肝和一个榆木的脑袋。天生反应慢半拍,名副其实傻大胆,配我刚刚好。”

我:“…………”

何决一手揽着我,一手放在我的小腹上,用低低柔柔的声音循循善诱:“我是不介意等个年,待到事业有点小成手里有点小钱的时候再娶媳妇的。但女性的最佳生育年龄是25岁到28岁,你如果今年结婚明年产子,就正好可以抓住最后的尾巴。再晚的话,对你对孩子都不好。你觉得呢?”

我感动地看着他:“毫不利己专门利人,你不入地狱谁入地狱,善勒个哉啊善勒个哉!”

他便露出佛祖拈花般的慈悲微笑,继而用略带胡茬的下巴磕我肩头,又麻又痒:“所以,你到底要不要嫁给我?”

我想了想:“那你要先解决压力问题,夫妻生活不和谐的话,也是没有幸福可言的。”

“什么压力?”

“ichael说,你很可能因为怕满足不了我而产生某些功能性障碍。”

“…………”

我扭捏着在何决的胸前画圈圈:“其实,我不是性冷淡,也没什么太过离谱的性幻想,虽然没有实际经验,但理论经验还是比较丰富的。所以武指的岗位,我想,应该可以胜任。”

何决咬着后牙床:“武指?”

“噢,你尽管放心!在一部动作片中,虽然武指很重要,但怎么也重要不过导演的。”

害怕伤了他大男人的自尊心,我连忙坐直了进行解释说明:“我做武指,你做导演。我来编排动作,你来统筹全局。总而言之,我接受你的领导,服从你的安排,永远在你的下面!”

“…………”

何决的面部神经狠狠抽搐了几下后重新被控制,转而似笑非笑地看着我:“小木,你的意思是,你已经准备好了打开雷池,让我进去了?”

“什么叫雷池啊?跟我做……做那个,让你觉得很雷吗?”

“那叫水池?卵池?阴池?”

“还阴沟嘞!呸死你个臭流氓!”

“……这个问题咱以后再议!”

他貌似有些混乱,捏了捏青筋浮现的额角,正色:“我之所以答应不碰你,完全是出于尊重。虽然现在的婚前性行为已经很普遍,但中国的某些传统观念毕竟还存在。我想,你是希望将自己的第一次留在新婚之夜的。否则也不会……”

我恍然大悟:“你想太多了!和刘升在一块儿的时候,第一年是因为住学校宿舍不方便,第二年第三年是因为分隔两地更不方便,第四年是因为我刚想跟他那什么他就跟我分手了。所以,我处非我所愿也,实无可奈何也……”

何决双唇一抿,搂在我腰上的手臂猛地收紧,阴测测地问:“你好像,对此感到很遗憾啊!”

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