二十三隔雨相望冷 2(第1页)
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叶秋娘凝视着迷蒙细雨,二十多年心门落上的锁,被熟悉的风物打开,藏于隐秘处的思忆,便不可抑制地苏醒。
杏花烟雨,山色空濛,长街高低各色的油纸伞,随手掬起的一抹凉风,都是诗是画,是过往斑驳的色彩,是无法言语的美丽。
江南,每一处瓦檐屋脊,楼阁亭台,雕梁画栋,都记录着华夏民族千年的传承,蕴含着工匠的技艺,千万人的痴念,比如她,还有他。
平生最大的愿望,是和他携手在这诗情画意的地方,温柔平静地,走过此生,直到冥冥昏黄的白头。
“重游了西湖,孤山,灵隐寺,海棠诗会,等天转晴,我们再去南山樵舍可好?”
妇人的思绪被儿子的问话打断,她转头微笑:“等你去看过乐乐再说。”
秦乐乐自从在姨娘的坟前淋过一场大雨,便连日高烧,宫里派太医精心治疗,好容易退热,又开始咳嗽,反反复复,拖了大半月依然不见好转。
大夫说她忧思过度,寒入五脏,这明明就是心病。叶家杭轻叹口气:“阿娘,我是不是干脆向她挑明,我悦她,要她做我的王妃。”
叶秋娘认为时机不妥:“她刚和格天府决裂,又逢亲姨娘逝去,怕是不会想儿女情事。”
“正因为她此时孤单难过,我才想告诉她,这世间有我,愿一生一世陪伴她,照顾她。”
叶家杭摆出自己的理由。
妇人犹豫片刻,道:“一对相爱的男女,若迫于外力分离,那是生生地将心掏了出来,你想,她离开湖州才多久?此时你表白,她定然拒绝。”
叶家杭全身一颤,望向母亲,轻问:“这么多年阿娘都不快乐,我问你如何去到金国,你也从来不说,莫非阿娘的心,也曾经被掏出?”
叶秋娘不想答复,转过话题:“杭儿长大了,阿娘看在眼里,真是高兴,却又担心。”
“为何担心?”
叶家杭拉起母亲的手,打趣道:“你儿子聪明伶俐,天塌下来也能应对。”
当娘的却无论如何笑不出来:“世事无常也无奈,倘若乐乐终其一生,都忘不了三公子,倘若有一日,你不得不与她别离,你可会以平常心接受?”
此话如一击重锤,狠狠地敲在少年心坎,淅淅沥沥的细雨,随风进帘,浸染着他质地华丽,做工精美的春衫。
();() 他垂头半晌,哑着嗓子:“她若忘不了姓岳的,我自然难过,可若此生不能与她共度,我更难过。阿娘,自从遇见她,我才明白你那首送别词里说的,今宵眼底,明朝心上,后日眉头。”
叶秋娘抚着儿子的发鬓,叹息:“我礼佛数年,却仍放不下你,杭儿,由爱生忧,由爱生怖,你心里的煎熬,娘帮不上,只得靠你自己应对。”
叶家杭凝视着母亲,语意沉郁:“娘放不下我,我也放不下娘,你说儿长大了,却不愿和我提及往事,不知娘的心事,儿如何与娘分忧?”
叶秋娘见他执意要问,先搭了个梯子:“杭儿,你要记得今日娘说的话,我们遭遇的一切,都是为了自我的觉醒,为了认清生命的真相,然后,学会去超越,超越爱恨,得失,以至生死。”
叶家杭听得半懂不懂,只顺从地说:“阿娘所有的教诲,儿都记在心里。”
良久沉默,叶秋娘开始讲述往事:她出生在官宦之家,自小得父母宠爱,成天只知道在诗词音律中纵情取乐,及笄后与青梅竹马的意中人订亲,岁月安好。
宣和七年,未婚夫外出收采金石,归来时正值重阳,知府高官人邀请他们全家到山中别院赏菊小住。
情郎送她到皋亭山麓,当时西天余晖绚丽,他说,秋娘你看,夕阳无限好,只是近黄昏,我刚回来,你却要走。
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