第95页(第2页)
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“招娣……”
贺兰芮之的嗓音,沙哑且充斥了落寞,“一百六十封信……你别心急,慢慢看,仔细看,等你阅完全部书信、再抬头之际,就能再次看见我了。”
我心弦一颤,“大人,你……”
“勿误吉时,起轿!”
突然岔入的尖细嗓子,打断了我所有倾诉。慌张不安地伸出手,我想要阻止轿帘的放下,可是,它仍然义无反顾地隔绝了贺兰芮之、隔绝了我最后的自由自在,仅留下一股厚重压抑、扼杀着我所剩无几的镇定。
青春时代的人生理想,少女时代的简单爱情,真真正正正丧失了全部甜蜜畅想;黯淡且漫长得后宫生活,正随着轿舆颠簸,无声无息迫近。没有颜家父母的殷殷期盼、没有杨府大宅院的庇护、没有了自强奋发的【渭水泱泱】,我一个人坐在空荡荡的宫轿里,反复品味落寞无助、孤立无援。
厌恶自己的中庸、厌恶自己的无能为力。
“小妹,小妹……”
突如其来的呼唤,似乎来自杨延风。顾不得视野被脆弱泪水冲刷得朦胧不清,我火急火燎地掀开轿帘。
“丫头,你入宫匆忙,我也没机会给你准备丰厚嫁妆。”
步疾如电地追赶轿子,杨延风匆匆忙把一柄宝剑递给我,“此乃圣上赐赠二哥的镇岳尚方剑,你把它带进宫,防身。”
镇岳剑?就是宇文庆叛党逆袭廷尉司,皇帝陛下赐赠给杨延光的尚方宝剑?!惶然点头,我赶紧接过宝剑,如同抱着一根救命稻草,紧紧拥入怀。
“别哭,杨家后代子孙,各个坚强隐忍、不轻易掉泪……”
一路追着轿舆跑,杨延风气息不稳地安慰我,“傻丫头,女人失去了爱情并不可怕。可怕的是,从此沉沦、从此丧气……你要记得,杨排风不是凡常女子,是能屈能伸、有胆有谋的红粉巾帼。”
眼泪,源源不断地滚落,我不断点头。
“入宫后,万一遇见任何艰险不测,我若无法及时保护你,你就用这把剑,自己保护自己!上除佞臣、下斩奸妃……明白么?”
道路两旁驻足围观的行人,渐渐多起来,拦阻了杨延风的追赶。
“明白,妹妹明白!”
我吸吸鼻子,努力不流泪,“三哥放心,我会谨记你说的每一个字,不给杨府添乱,不给自己添乱……”
“乖,别哭……”
只因轿舆即将拐出长街,停步不前、频频回首围观的行人愈发增多,在拥堵人潮中,寸步难行的杨延风只得顿了脚步,双手圈在唇边唤道,“妹妹,身处宫闱若觉得寂寞,便竖起耳朵、静听从林梢间拂刮而过的风声……”
纵使轿舆渐行渐远,而视野里的那个颀长男子已身形模糊且遥远不可及,我始终如一地频频颔首,哽咽抽泣。
“表小姐,别再哭了,你眼睛都开始泛肿。”
好言相劝,出自跟随入宫的延瑛,“有我、有延琪常相陪伴,你不会寂寞。”
无言地凝视市井百姓们唇边钦羡的笑意,倾听他们噪杂纷乱的议论,我心智恍惚,好似看见昔日寄托,像泡沫般渐次上升,却逐一破灭……而暗潮涌动的复杂思绪,在自发地遣散惆怅,回归沉实。
沉浸于旭日光芒的道路,不知何时,弥蒙了温暖金黄色,驱散了被黑夜笼罩了整整一宿的苍凉伤感,孕育出蓬勃朝气。
低低地,我诵出颜老爹平生最爱的一首诗,似起誓,似鼓励。
“我以为我的旅程已终、前路已绝、希望已尽……殊不知,你的意志在我身上从未终滞。旧的言语刚在舌尖上死去,新的期盼又从心头渗进。退隐在静默鸿蒙中的时间,我不知消寂。虽旧辙方迷,我仍然肯定,你守候在花开花落的那端,并不伶仃。”
最后一滴伤感眼泪,夹杂了释怀叹息,轻轻滑过眼角,似场无言终局。
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