第28章 遗憾(第3页)
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“她去的原因,除了自己也可能想见见他。更重要的原因是你,因为这样可以和你一起上放学。”
我心头一颤,才知道她为了我牺牲了多少,为了我这样的人。
她可能是委屈求全的恳求那个抛弃她的父亲,让她可以住在那里。
“那她得了什么病?”
“癌症。”
“可她才十五岁,怎么会得癌症?”
“我们结婚以后,有了这个孩子,没几年就现了得了他们家的遗传病。”
“后来病后恶化病变成了癌症。”
“从小她就身体不好,上小学几乎就没怎么有过朋友,她就喜欢看书。”
“虽然没有朋友,但是这个孩子很坚强。长期的治疗让病情得以稳定,但是治疗病变之前就已经是一笔不小的开销了。”
“我们选择了离婚,因为他逃跑了,他觉得没什么必要再给这个孩子治病,因为稳定了一时,稳定不了一世,他让我扔了她。”
“可是那个时候都七岁了,我怎么忍心把自己的孩子给扔了?”
“我选择自己抚养,但是我又要出去挣钱,她很多时候都是和爷爷奶奶住在一起。”
“我爸妈走的早,我不想让这个孩子也和我经历同样的痛苦。”
“她很争气,学习一直都很好。老师们也总说如果身体也能好点,就更好了。”
“我知道这是奢望,她知道自己从小就和别人不同,要经常去医院。她也不傻,她知道治病要花好多钱,她不想治了,她不想拖累我,她说能活多久算多久。”
“后来病变到了癌症是在去年的假期,我们去北京给她看病,才知道一直拖着的症状病变了,那个时候已经无药可治了,一个月前她离开了。”
我眼前的这位母亲,一直搓着膝盖,眼眶红润,说着往事,我看到了她那双枯燥又粗糙的手,鼻子不由得一酸。
“她最开心的时候就是有一天突然和我说,她想多活几天,多活几年。”
“我很诧异。她从来没有这样的想法,我一直以为这个孩子傻了,怎么就不想活着呢?”
“她说她想结婚生子,想成为某个人的新娘。”
“那是她第一次因为自己没有多少寿命而哭泣。她太坚强了,她太能装坚强了。我知道她是个很软弱的女孩子,但是在这之前,她从来没哭过。”
“阿姨我,谢谢你。是你给了她生命中最美好的回忆,上次家长会的时候我见到你了。”
“对不起,我什么都不知道,我什么都做不了,我真的很抱歉,我真的…”
我抱着她的腿,放声大哭。我从来没有这么伤心,哭的这样撕心裂肺。
“她能多笑出来全是因为你,你让她体验了爱一个人是什么感觉,你让她知道了世界的美好。”
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