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第86章(第1页)

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他到底年少轻狂过,见过的不少,理智摇摇欲坠间这种荤话便也脱口而出。

杨灵允眼神陡然变冷,抽回自己的手,似笑非笑:“容时哥哥,莫非……你还真想跟我成婚?”

这话瞬间激得林魏然红了眼角,向来温和的面孔上忽然浮出些不管不顾的疯狂,他再次握上了杨灵允的手,脱口反问:“不可以吗?明明当年只差一点,只差一天的!”

这副不属于林太傅的神色让杨灵允的一切动作僵在原地——那个午后的顺水推舟,她以为是两人默认的一次放纵,就像流水无痕。可如今看来,林魏然似乎并非这样想。

想到这里,杨灵允缓缓阖了阖眼——可人不是靠私心活的。

她抬手抚过林魏然的侧脸,动作很轻很慢,像是警告,又像是认命的叹息:“不一样了,一切都不一样了。”

林魏然反手抓住了她的手,妄念在心底无声疯涨,他脱口而出:“一样的!我可以不当这个帝师!”

近乎表明心迹的话,杨灵允却只轻轻笑了声,“不要意气用事,林魏然。你舍不下舍不下黎明百姓,舍不下朝堂的。”

“哥哥也不希望看到你如今这副模样的。”

从前暧昧朦胧间,都是杨灵允在交锋的边缘游走,率先打破无形的边墙。可当一切被明明白白地揭开时,她却成了最冷静的那个人,冷静地在一旁看林魏然红了眼眶,溃不成军。

而她,平静冷漠,无动于衷。

不知过了多久,林魏然终于缓慢地松开了手,杨灵允的手臂随之垂落,风吹起的一截衣袖,露出的手腕上光洁白皙,没有半分痕迹。

林魏然略显苍白的面孔上浮出一个比哭还难看的笑:“宣和,你真的爱我吗?”

杨灵允沉默以对。

直到杏花再次飘落,林魏然也没等到杨灵允的回答。

最后,他踩着满地的落花,悄无声息地离开了。

就像飘落的杏花一样,他来时去时都无声无息,却清晰地留在了杨灵允眼底。

看着林魏然消失的背影,杨灵允深吸一口气,脱力地倚在了一边的杏树上,慢慢抬手盖住了眼睛。

爱林魏然吗?她自己都不知道。

长久的深宫算计生涯已经让她忘记了什么叫爱。争权夺利的算计间,感情也只是一份明码标价的筹码。

她想要无条件无杂质的爱,但她也清楚林魏然心底还装着太多东西——理想信念、黎明百姓。可偏偏也是这些,成就了现在的林魏然,她不想看到林魏然放弃这些。

“为什么要说出来啊?”

杨灵允看着满天飘落的杏花,眼睫轻颤,不知是在对谁说话,“像之前那样不好吗?”

幼荷带着一屉樱桃毕罗和一屉蟹黄毕罗回来时,杨灵允正阖眼倚在不远处的杏树上,似乎睡着了。

她便也没过去打扰,悄声问了守在后院入口的钱其:“林太傅今日来过了吗?”

钱其点头,又问道:“你怎么知道?”

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