第23章(第1页)
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所有和黑暗有关的画面活了过来,如果他一定要的话,我恐怕拉不住他,周行云心乱地想着。她也怕水,水下面有着太多难以探得的未知,眼下,黑暗和深水这两样东西在最糟糕的时刻组合了起来。
幸好程风就在她的身后,这给了周行云一定的勇气。
“杜泽,大晚上的你散心散到海里来了?梦游呢?”
她更加用力地拉着他,表弟圆圆的额头因为出油而微微反着光,但这光却将他的脸色衬得更加暗淡,他看了周行云一眼,终于说话了。
“白天在佛前,我祈求他能让我等下的痛苦少一些。”
手从杜泽的胳膊上滑了下来,周行云的声音有些抖,“你要我陪你一起来旅游,是想要我替你收尸么?”
冰冷的字砸下,像一个不轻不重的耳光,杜泽的眼睛眨了眨,没有接话。
“我跟你说,我不会游泳,你要是再继续往前走几步,明天我们俩就一起上新闻。”
“行云,你注意安全,状况不对你先回来,”
程风慌了,手伸过去,却穿过她。
她不会游泳?以他的状态,如果真的出事了,要怎么办?要亲眼看着……不,不可以,发着微光的身体在海水中倾向周行云,将她大半个笼住,似乎想要试图阻止什么,却撞见她安抚的眼神。
放心,她说。
“你回去,姐姐,”
杜泽道。
“我做不到,除非你和我一起,溺死是很难受的,而且会很丑,”
周行云将话题扯开去,努力转移表弟的注意力,“你忍心这么对我?嗯?”
“你怎么知道我在这里?”
杜泽问。
这是好征兆,只要他不再将目光投向不见底的黑海。
虚空中,舅妈欲说还休的脸从混沌中浮现,小云,小云,你帮帮他,帮帮你弟弟。
“心有灵犀啊,我们可是有血缘关系的,”
周行云试着让自己的声音轻快起来,又重新抓住杜泽的手臂,“白天的时候我就发现了,否则我们怎么会都点一样的菜呢,啊,所以你才一定要吃那道最贵的海鲜吗?其实也不值那个价,以后肯定能吃到更好吃的。”
杜泽忆起母亲临死前那又肿又黄的手,搁在白色的床单上,如一团浸湿了的海绵。
她不想走,哪怕是以那样的面貌留下。可她又没能留下。
“我知道你痛,我知道你觉得每一天都像定时炸弹,是不是?我有个同事,平时身体可好了,上个月出了车祸,出院后却不能再行走了。啊,我并不是想用其他人的悲惨事例来安慰你,我想告诉你的是,每个人都是一样的,明天会怎么样,没有人知道,唯一可以确定的只有今天,最多是今天,要做什么,吃什么,和什么人见面,只有今天。”
“要是你觉得害怕,就每个月去看医生,定期做相关的检查。要是你觉得孤单,就挑一个喜欢的姑娘去喜欢。重要的是你如何过好今天,是你去关注自己的身体和心,而不是预支明天的恐惧。”
“你看我怕水,我就从来不想着要游泳,人都有恐惧,这是正常的,我同意让恐惧存在,然后和它和平相处。”
在海水的间歇里,轻轻的抽泣如细小的针,杜泽神经性地龇了龇牙,像觉着疼了,摸了摸后脖颈,不知说了句什么。
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