第89章 生死赴4(第1页)
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短短几日光景,小孩面上多了两分沉郁之色,见了蓝散,既未行礼也未叫人。
武雁声在他头上拍了一下,朝蓝散道:“这小子课业落了好些,在院子外头转悠半天了,说是怕先生罚,不敢自己来找您说,我就把人给您领来了。”
蓝散一见便知武雁声说谎,但也不揭破,点头道:“进来吧。”
都不愁跟她进屋,站在地中间,尚未长开的脊背板正,对抗着什么似的。
“武雁声叫你来,是帮我吃饭的吧?”
蓝散在桌后坐了,从食盒中取出盘碟,“可我看你的样子,有些话不说清楚,大概不会甘心。”
都不愁抬眸时似下定决心,“先生为我讲《室语》时曾言:杀人者众手,实天子为之大手。学生前日重读此文,见有一问,乃曰:当大乱之时,岂能不杀一人而定天下?”
蓝散径直答道:“答曰:定乱岂能不杀乎?古之王者,有不得已而杀者二:有罪,不得不杀;临战,不得不杀。有罪而杀,尧舜之所不能免;临战而杀,汤武之所不能免;非是,奚以杀为?”
她布上碗筷,抬眸道:“你是想问我,杀你兄长的是我,是北川,还是天子吧?”
都不愁垂眸不与她对视,“武大哥同我讲过先生不得已之处,可我还是不明白,为何被牺牲的是兄长。”
“一流佛祖二流仙,三流皇帝四流官,五流烧锅六流当,七商八客九庄田。千年王朝更迭,唯一不变的是三六九等。人命有贵贱,枯骨不相同,你有今日一问,想是从前的书没白读。”
蓝散抬眸看来,容色平和得仿佛从前在关中为他答疑解惑,“杀己以存天下,是杀己以利天下,都不归为国尽忠,为友赴义,既是他自己的选择,也是为我所杀。”
都不愁抬眸时红了眼眶,逼视着她:“他的确没有徐将军那般大才,可也是一条命,父母兄弟眼里万金不换,不该为了任何人送死!”
“你问我徐麟的命是否比都不归贵,我并不这么认为,但人命虽无贵贱,却有轻重。”
蓝散静静看着他,“先太祖盛赞徐麟为大晟麒麟,那时我曾问过祖父,以徐麟的年龄,为何仅凭一次千里奇袭就能取得那般高的评价。我至今仍记得祖父如获至宝的神情。漠北地形复杂,缺水少食,气候极端,即便最老道的斥候也难免迷失方向,中原人从未有过成功奇袭异族王庭的战绩。这一切的改变始于徐麟从戎,他训练的斥候队像鸟瞰大漠的鹰,让大晟军队再未因迷踪失路而折损,他有天才禀赋,生来就能救很多人的命。”
都不愁身子一晃,信赖摇摇欲坠,一时竟无言以对。
“你今日问我,因都不归是你兄长,可潼泸关战死者数十,他们的生死又有谁来鸣不平?即便有,那些藐如尘烟的哭喊又有谁会听?”
蓝散容色平静得近乎冷酷,“常人皆是父母兄弟眼中至宝,但不是所有父母兄弟都有一双遒劲的手能护佑他们。人心有亲疏远近,即便抛开大局从私心论,若徐麟和都不归只能救一个,我还是会选徐麟。”
教他读圣贤书的先生,如今亲口毁去了圣贤之道,都不愁仿佛失去了全部支撑。
如果人一生的成长归根究底是塌缩在几个瞬间,对都不愁来说,得知那个整日插科打诨,从不让人省心的兄长的死讯的一刻,是他初尝失去,那么现下,就是他正式向少时天真的自己告别。
令蓝散意外的是,在短暂的失望过后,都不愁没有愤愤不平,也没有心灰意冷,他似乎听了进去,虽不理解但选择接受,她知道在亲人的死亡面前这有多么不容易,至少换做这个年纪、同样处境,她绝对没有这般心性。
都不愁退后一步,向她行礼,“谢先生坦诚相告。”
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