第89章(第2页)
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闻棠:……
&ldo;你爱我吗?&rdo;秦渝抽抽噎噎问。
本以为两人要吵架,特意凑上前来听准备随时给意见的常宁:……
草!
面色因为这一问题逐渐柔和的闻棠攥紧写有节目流程的纸张:&ldo;嗯。&rdo;
秦渝又问:&ldo;你觉得我爱你吗?&rdo;
闻棠有些哑然。
她想她大概知道秦渝为什么会说那句对不起了。
想了想,她起身,对着管原则道:&ldo;我先……接个电话?&rdo;
&ldo;啊。&rdo;管原则点点头,&ldo;直播也结束了,想去哪去哪吧,明儿见。&rdo;
秦渝听到她在与人对话,心中疑惑,但因为音质嘈杂,没听清楚,隐约只能分清是个男性,交流中包含&ldo;直播&rdo;等字眼。
她知道闻棠是要找个安静的地方与她对话,心中思考的同时,她乖乖等候。
闻棠出门后找了个避风口,随意看了眼身后的灯火,吁了口气,冷风扑面而来。稍微整理了下思绪,她才说:&ldo;秦渝,我们需要好好聊聊。&rdo;
她难得叫一次&ldo;秦渝&rdo;,足以见得她对这场对话有多重视,秦渝点点头,轻轻应了声。
&ldo;首先,&rdo;闻棠说,&ldo;我喜欢你这一点毋庸置疑,你知道的,对吗?&rdo;
&ldo;……我当然知道。&rdo;秦渝轻声说。
&ldo;但你喜不喜欢我我不知道。&rdo;闻棠说这话时眼神有些迷茫,但声音依然很冷静,&ldo;我一直有在想我们两个的关系是什么样的,很多时候我觉得你爱我,但更多时候我会觉得你对我的态度就像是……在对待一件很重要的东西,而非恋人。&rdo;
&ldo;你对我的感情到底是什么样的?&rdo;闻棠轻声问,&ldo;秦渝,你真的能分清友情和爱情的区别吗?你对我的喜欢是对恋人之间的喜欢吗?&rdo;
仅仅是三个问题就让秦渝有些答不上来。
唇微动,她叹了口气,轻声说:&ldo;我不知道,我也回答不了。&rdo;
&ldo;……你想要离开这个世界吗?&rdo;闻棠说。
自打上次414曝光,尽管秦渝并没有多说,闻棠还是在414明戳戳暗悄悄各种暗示下推算出了大概脉络。都是聪明人,闻棠第一时间也知道了秦渝当时为什么会在医院对自己示好‐‐
因为这个世界的主角是自己,她因为自己才来到这个世界,同样也需要因为自己才能离开。
闻棠不知道她在另一个世界的生活是怎么样的,她有没有像关素年与秦山一样极富包容心、温柔的父母,也不知道她是否像在这里一样热爱自己的事业,更不知道她有没有情史。仔细想想,她对秦渝一无所知,反倒是秦渝,不仅清楚她所有的记忆,还见过她所有丑陋的样子。
事实上,她们两人从一开始的关系就是不对等的。信息、感情、身处环境,信息的相差使她对秦渝的感情产生误会。
闻棠承认这一点。
可秦渝对她太温柔了,温柔到分不清这是友情还是爱情。或许从小就被爱着的孩子能很容易分清楚来自外界的善意和恶意,可她却是个表面耀武扬威、内里脆弱到稍稍被戳一下醋意与玻璃心都要双双爆炸的小可怜。
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