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第40章(第2页)

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“嗯。”

宋澜便想要笑,但哭得太厉害,什么样的笑容都显得苦涩,“少傅,朕那个时候刚知道了你的身世,朕想着,这场病一定是上天的报应,朕要是病死了就好了。可是梦里听见少傅哭,朕难受极了,说什么也想醒过来,哄哄你,跟你说不要再哭了。”

梅砚在旁垂眸听着,依旧没有说话。

他穿的是一件白青色的轻纱袍,显得整个人又轻又白,像是随时都会消散的一团雨雾,却在瓢泼大雨中兀自横生,孤忍而又决绝。

宋澜说:“少傅为什么不早些告诉朕?朕若是早知道,朕就不会……”

梅砚知道他要说什么,忽然笑了下:“告诉你什么?”

他起身,透过窗子去看外头淋漓的雨,十五年来第一次没了惧意。

“告诉你我是梅氏后人,你的君父冤杀了我家一百多口人,所以我来报仇,我逼死先帝是他罪有应得,我搅弄朝堂,是正道之举?你不该恨我,不该怨我,应该恭恭敬敬奉我为师长,颤颤巍巍跪在我面前偿还父辈的罪?”

宋澜被他这话噎住了,他嗓音哑得厉害,只觉得心里疼。

“有什么好说的呢?”

梅砚伸手关了窗户,雨声与雷声都被阻隔在了窗外,果断而又干脆,“青冥,有些事情,不是说还就能还清的。我要了徐玉璋和先帝两条命,可这还不了我梅氏一百三十四口人的命;我任朝中二品高官,可这补偿不了我在钱塘隐姓埋名的那七年。反过来说,当初我自裁谢罪,遮掩不了弑君的罪责;我自甘自愿委身于你,也平不了与你的杀父之仇。这本就是一笔算不清的烂账。”

梅砚关了窗户,心中却仍是烦乱,不想在屋里留下去,抬脚就要走。

又被宋澜唤住了,“少傅,是朕对不起你。”

梅砚脚下一顿,但并没回头,他说:“当初在瑶光殿里,我用刀抵着先帝的脖子,我让他写罪己诏,他不写,咬牙撞上来,这仇我就算是报了。我祖父和父亲泉下有知,必不想看到我将这些仇怨迁怒到你身上,天理昭彰,是非善恶,人心自有定论,所以我不要你的平反谕,更不要你的罪己诏。

“青冥,不是你对不起我,是我有愧于你。”

梅砚推门走了,屋里静悄悄的,什么声音都没有,显得那凄厉的雨声更加吓人。

这样的暴雨,要下很久吧。

——

又过一些时候,廖华端着一碗面进来,是手扯的面条,鸡丝熬的高汤。

“陛下吃些东西吧,这是梅少傅刚从瑶光殿回来的时候吩咐宫人去做的呢。”

宋澜像是丢了魂一般,怔怔看着廖华手上端的那碗面,过了很久才问:“廖华,今天是什么日子?”

这问题,梅砚不久前才问过,廖华下意识便答:“六月初二了。”

“哦,原来是六月初二。”

宋澜闻言笑了笑,伸手接过了筷子,面却已经有些坨了,筷子还没提起来,眼泪就已经落在了碗里。

年少的帝王像一个犯了错的孩子,他在那场濒死的梦境里苦苦熬了一个月,如今终于撑不住了。

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