第50章 大悲大喜(第1页)
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陆平川开始缓缓说道:
“年轻的时候,师长问我读书为什么?我答曰‘为明事理,为知人伦,为国之良佐,为民之青天’,其实都错了,大错特错……像我这样穷人家的孩子,读书的目的就当只有一个——做官、发财。”
“在太学时,我意气风发,以为登堂入室,位列台阁,不过是指日可待,唾手可得的事……后来才发现,莫说台阁公卿,一个吏目都是我头顶的天。”
“也不怪别人,只怪我自已当时年轻轻狂,听信他人巧言花语,误了自已的大好前途。”
“当年太学放榜,我未入三甲,羞见娘子,独自一个人,偷偷跑回了家乡。”
“在家乡待了一年,方开始体会什么是人情冷暖,世态炎凉。在之后的余生,更是感慨良多……”
“一个人,当你穷困潦倒的时候,说出的话,不管对与不对,没有人会听,更不会有人领情,许多时候还会换来嘲讽、无视。”
“所以,我越来越沉默不语,别人又说我孤僻……呵,孤僻。人啊就不能穷,话多了说你轻浮,自以为是;话少了又孤僻,总之,就没有对的时候……”
“你的许多好,于别人看来也都是有所企图。你的善良、品行、才华、能力若是不能换来功名富贵,你就连乞丐都不如。”
“读书无成,家贫无妻,与女子同行,人家都是一脸的防备,怕我有高攀她的心思……幸有娘子一直在等我。”
“成婚以后,我以为短则一二年,长则三五年,我的命运就能迎来转机,谁知……这一转眼,已经八年过去。”
“这八年来,娘子跟着我,吃过多少的苦,受过多少的委屈,只有我们自已知道。”
“对于穷人来说,心中最可恨的恐怕就是亲朋好友吧……他们一边害怕你登门,一边又‘埋怨’你不登门。”
“小时候盼过年,喜过年。长大一事无成,却最怕的就是过年。”
“贫贱夫妻百事哀,逢年过节到亲友家走动,目光未至,嘴角方启,呵,别人就紧张的不行,生怕你张口借钱。”
“呵呵,也不怪他们……尽管我不曾打算向他们开过口。可是从内心里讲,我是真的希望能有人对我伸以援手,解我眼前之窘困。”
“你们知道一个人可以有多失败吗?”
“我曾经很多次在亲友家附近的屋檐下躲雨雪风霜,浑身从衣服湿到骨肉,瑟瑟发抖,却没有勇气到他们的家中做客。”
“因为,我在他们的眼中是一个彻头彻尾的失败者,我的到访不会使他们蓬荜生辉和由衷地高兴,只会给他们带去麻烦和使他们感到扭捏。”
“全天下的人都轻视于我,只有娘子拿我当依靠,我一生的百般容忍和委屈求全,都只为娘子能有风光的一天。”
“现在,她就要离我而去,不,我们就要离这个世界而去,你们——”
陆平川抬眼看向所有人,说道“可以尽情地嘲笑于我了,陆平川再无可取之处。”
“圣旨到”
一声公鸭嗓子打破了沉默,腔调很不友好。
只见吕公公身后跟着一队衣甲鲜明的神策军卫士,迈着四平八稳的鸭步,脸上带着不善。
等进了院子神色一滞,原本还以为是谁提前走了消息,这是什么情况?
“这里可是大理寺陆平川家?”
上元县来的差人上前行礼,答道“回公公,正是陆平川家,那人就是。”
见吕公公狐疑,又低声解释道“刚死了娘子。”
“那敢情——”
吕公公差点‘升官发财死老婆’的话脱口而出,幸而还有点人性,扯了扯嗓子,说道“陆大人节哀顺变,先接旨吧,然后再料理亡妻后事。”
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