第十章 自娱自乐(第1页)
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到了小东门的尽头。雪明回到纸扎铺就进门,让俩姑娘在门外等候。
他进到堂屋,刚好看见陈先生在神龛前忙活——假洋鬼子踩着四脚梯,正在换迎宾对联的牌匾。
雪明问了声好:“陈先生!我回来了,要我帮忙吗?”
金碧眼的算命先生笑嘻嘻的应着:“行,你把匾递给我,搭把手。”
等雪明帮助陈先生换下旧联,添上联。
昨对联写的是。
“但行好事就别来问鬼神”
“心中有愧你还敢进我门”
横批叫“算个逑”
三张牌匾换下,放在里屋的罩帘旁边。
雪明好奇问着:“陈先生,你这对联是什么意思?”
陈先生从四角梯慢慢爬下来,和雪明念叨着:“躲麻烦。”
雪明疑惑:“躲什么麻烦?”
陈先生拍了拍手上的泥灰,把黑布长衫也摆弄干净,指着换下来的牌匾详细说:“不算命,讲科学破迷信。”
这话从纸扎铺老板嘴里冒出来可太奇怪了。
陈先生蹲在换下的牌匾旁,拿出抹布一阵好擦,指着对联解释道:“你做了好事,又何苦疑神疑鬼的。要是做了亏心事,我也帮不了你——就这个意思,算个逑。”
雪明又看换上的牌匾。
上联叫:“感娘亲粗茶淡饭铭心镂骨”
下联叫:“受父亲拳脚棍棒没齿难忘”
横批叫:“孩儿就是不孝了!”
那感叹号还特上了金漆,做足了嘲讽的表情。
“这。。。”
雪明有种哭笑不得的意思:“写给我的呀?”
“啊对对对!”
陈先生摆弄着墨镜,一对蓝汪汪的眼睛透着俏皮狡猾的意思:“不光写给你的,今周五,县城和市区的爹妈接孩子放学,有事儿没事就过来问孩子的前途,问的东西都特别离谱,我就换这副对联上去,让宝妈宝爸都好好反思反思。”
雪明只觉得,叶老板和陈先生都是奇妙的人。
他把平阳县里父母的事情往后放了放,看见陈先生忙里忙外的,给一尊尊神像理灰洗尘打蜡镀金,一刻都闲不下来。
雪明又问:“每都会换对联吗?”
“没错。”
陈先生得空答复,漫不经心:“现在你去做个Ins或者微博账号啊,上推特外网营业,每都要动态吧?我这动态就写对联上了,专门有网红来拍视频,不然怎么创收?我要卷死那群只会坑蒙拐骗的假神仙!”
“那。。。”
雪明想到那袋子纸钱:“陈先生的意思是,你店的东西都灵验?”
“别——”
假洋鬼子又撇撇嘴,一副担惊受怕的样子:“——千万别这么说,建国之后不能成精,我只是不做坑蒙拐骗的生意,可没说我灵验哦!我不灵的,一点都不灵验,也不灵异,这青白日朗朗乾坤的,哪儿有什么鬼呀!”
等陈先生闲下来,终于坐到堂屋的收银台前边。
雪明还没问起事情。
陈先生已经先声夺人,拿来账本敲起了小算盘。
“两袋子纸钞,一共十二块八毛,结一下账,谢谢您嘞。”
按照丧葬用品的价钱来说,真不算贵了。
雪明老老实实划开手机网银付了钱。
陈先生又问:“见到二老了吗?”
“嗯。。。回家他们来迎我,谈崩了几回,我气得说不出话,把先生给的随礼拿出来,他们就消失了。”
雪明说完,又开口反问:“先生是什么时候收到消息的?先生一直都知道吗?这件事叶大哥也知道吗?”
“这事儿不方便细说。”
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