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第67章(第2页)

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明日就要启程回叙州,班贺忽然找来,陆旋觉得应当趁此把话说清楚,或许以后再没有机会了。

那日班贺说他从未言明过,他不想再不明不白地离开。

陆旋道:“在叙州时,我每日都在等待能入京那一天。可到京城之后,我再见到你,知晓你胸中丘壑,见过你所结交的朋友,我才意识到,来这一趟并未离你更近,反而让我清楚自己离你有多远。”

他顿了顿:“要达成你的期望,花费三年五载,十年二十年,我无半句怨言,唯独不敢耽误你。”

他心中并无任何依凭,没有资格去要求班贺做什么。得到答案又如何?他这一生注定不得安宁,班贺与他截然不同,光风霁月,如日夜两端。

班贺愣愣看着他,强迫视线移开,很快又回到他脸上:“没想到,你想得还挺多……”

事情变得更为棘手,陆旋比他以为的认真太多。这话无疑是在自绝后路,那张过分年轻的面孔难以掩饰隐忍的难过,让班贺觉得附和一句都是残忍的落井下石,一时进退维谷。

他呼出一口气,像声叹息:“话都被你说完了,我说什么?”

“你什么都不必说,我要说的说完了,你也听完了,那就可以回去了。”

陆旋声音越来越低,头也低了下去。

一只手捏着他的下巴,迫使他抬起头来,班贺与他对视:“自说自话够了没有?”

陆旋双眼睁圆了,他又问:“可以听我说了?”

陆旋点点头。

思索片刻,班贺缓缓开口:“我自幼时和师父学艺,一心浸在技艺里,心无旁骛。十六岁那年,大师兄有了阿毛,我成了孩子半个爹,一面学艺一面帮着带孩子,这两件事占据了我所有心神,从未考虑过其他。察觉你这份异于寻常的心思,我心里没底,无法确认你出于何种目的——总归是有所图吧?”

班贺松开手:“现在知道了你的想法与决定,或许迟了些,多谢抬爱。”

陆旋磕磕巴巴开口:“不、不用谢。”

班贺笑了笑:“即便你这么说,我也不可能此一别便无心。无论你怎么想,在西南、西北亦或是别处,我可放心不下你。”

陆旋好不容易强行伪装起来的豁然通达在这寥寥数语下土崩瓦解,彻底维持不住。只是一句“放心不下”

,就能叫他心中一颤,所有自我说服付之东流。

班贺:“言归,别人我可以不管,唯独你,决定将这双手臂交给你时,你我就有了情分。再者,别以为我不知道,你小子可记仇了,嘴上从来不说,心里一刻不忘。”

陆旋想反驳,看向班贺,却见他那双眼中写着“怎么说都没用,你就是这样”

,苍白无力地辩解:“我怎么会记恨你……”

班贺说:“你真能从此抛诸脑后,不再去想?”

陆旋闭上嘴不说话。

“若我不今日同你说明白,这件事又将被你压在心里,一日比一日更深重,你从不肯放过自己。”

班贺抬手抚上他的肩,“回叙州记得给我写信,三言两语,一字半句,都行。”

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