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第二十一章(第2页)

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这可是楚肖逸啊!

他在大众面前说话直来直去,没事就摆出冷漠直男脸,现在居然对三岁半的小女孩哀求撒娇!

——楚肖逸你有出息,在家唯唯诺诺,在外重拳出击?

——妹妹看菜和哥哥的表情,犹如我家猫看我铲屎,每天都是生怕我偷屎吃的微妙神情。

——别再说楚肖逸钢铁直男,只是直男暖的不是你[doge]

——辱直男了,直男不会骗你吃化学实验失败品的。

——肖肖:我是成熟稳重的大人。肖逸:谁还不是个宝宝呢?

楚肖逸在节目上的表现,让大众对他有惊人反转,此人在外我行我素、毫不客气,脾气上来还要乱怼两句,完全靠颜值和业务能力撑到现在。所有人以为他在家就是傲慢大少爷,哪想到跟其他人带小孩时一样卑微,尤其是看到妹妹跳水坑时出离崩溃!

他气得脸都涨红,在水坑边缘无能狂怒地咆哮,楚肖肖却还在水中央肆意歌唱,

简直让无数观众捧腹大笑。

——让她唱,让她跳!你也尝尝我们听你歌时的崩溃感!

——肖肖此时引用兄长名言:我是唱跳歌手,不会为其他事业放弃音乐梦想。

——你以为爱豆是天上的仙子,其实他是刷雨衣的凡人,不但刷还满肚牢骚[doge]

——这届的乔治实在不行,都不陪佩奇一起跳,楚肖逸你好意思说自己唱跳歌手?你现在都不唱跳,演员路线实锤了!

楚肖逸:“……”

楚肖逸:这届观众素质不行,看我妹整我就算了,还拿她羞辱我的音乐梦想!

楚肖逸居然还看到许多没见过的镜头,他总算知道小东西为何非要留下摄像机,编导们居然拿摄像机跟她聊天,还一起在私底下吐槽自己。楚肖肖给摄像机取名叫“小黑”

,节目组居然还推出“小黑视角”

的直拍,流量一点也不低。

楚肖逸在厨房里做饭时,楚肖肖就跟小黑一起学外语、聊闲天、看动画片,她还非逼着小黑跟自己学习。楚肖肖将IPAD端到镜头前,认真道:“小黑,我们一起来看这段句子。”

摄像机微微将头扬起,想要拍摄别的东西,却被楚肖肖强行将镜头转回来。她严肃道:“上课的时候不能走神,虽然你没办法说话,但可以学阅读理解!”

小黑:“……”

你放过我吧,我只是一台摄像机啊?

摄像机摇了摇头,表示自己不行。

楚肖肖:“你可以

做的,我刚才讲过!你通过点头来做题,选A就点一下,选B就点两下,以此类推来回答……”

摄像机终于崩溃,艰难地望着IPAD,陷入漫长的沉默。画面右下角,彩色的花字忽然蹦出,内容是“后台摄像:求求你放过我吧,大学六级都没过TAT”

——录制结束后,摄像大哥裸考通过六级,别人都问他窍门是什么?他自豪地拍拍胸脯:你来《咱家几代人》做摄像就行!

——不要耽误摄像机考大学!今晚我们都是驻扎客厅的小黑!

——肖肖老师,这题我已经学会,我们看下一题吧,可以开设线代课程么?

楚肖肖的小黑课堂内容丰富,不但有各种外语课程,还有跳沙发的体育课,中间夹杂着动画片和课间吐槽。这是非常有趣的机位,楚肖肖经常对着摄像机讲话,让观众有种跟她面对面的错觉。

楚肖肖面露苦恼:“哥哥还说带完我,他都不想要小孩?他觉得自己能找到老婆吗?”

“电视上说现在有三千万单身男性,他又穷又笨,还不会外语,连家务都做不好,哪里能超过这三千万人?他觉得别人都是好骗的傻子吗?”

她忧愁地撑着下巴,好像在担忧着楚肖逸的未来,认为他过于天真。

摄像机还煞有介事地点头附和,差点将楚肖逸气得半死,更可怕的是无数网友真开始帮楚肖肖操心兄长婚事。

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