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这是你方珩哥哥(第1页)

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她想,这个时候她还是很喜欢叁叔的。那时很小,哥哥的面容已经在她记忆里模糊了,叁叔和哥哥年岁相仿,也像哥哥一样会宠着她,听她任性撒娇,纵容她那些稀奇古怪的小心愿。是哥哥还是叁叔都不重要,他们带给盈盈的记忆感觉总是相似的。但她也只是一厢情愿的以为,失去的东西,总有可以替代的,哪怕只是她以为那样是相似的也好,总好过她的心会空落落的一片。可她的心还是空的,装进什么东西都好像不会满似得。她克制不住问叁叔:“盈盈是很奇怪的孩子吗?”

裴均止不知道她为什么会有这样的想法,想到她一直怀揣着对亲人逝去的自责活着,心头忽然涌出无穷无尽地怜惜,回过神来,他已经将这孩子抱在怀中。“为什么会这么想?”

他问小裴盈。小裴盈说:“因为盈盈那时候没有哭。”

裴均止摇头叹气:“盈盈,这世上有些痛苦就是后知后觉的,失去的那一刻并不觉得,只会待很久很久以后的某个瞬间,像把刀子一样插进你的心口,才让你彻底明白,你永远失去了什么。”

他知晓这样说,对一个孩子来说太过残忍。可这孩子这样聪慧,于她而言,谎言才是更加残酷的事实。是了,她现在很难过,难过得好像快要死掉,她知道了,她的爹爹娘亲还有哥哥再也回不来了。再也回不来了。小裴盈终于想起来怎么哭,泪水蒙住她的眼,声嘶力竭,泣下涟涟。裴均止不语,只是将她抱在怀中轻抚她的脊背,直至哭声渐止。小姑娘再次抬起头,眼里已是雾蒙蒙一片,像是被薄雪覆盖。裴均止拿袖子轻轻擦了擦,又抱着她坐了一会。

想到垒在案上还没完成的课业,他颔首下来,柔声问小裴盈:“方家那几个小孩子过来了,盈盈要去和他们玩吗?”

小裴盈过了会才发出声音,声音糯糯的,还带着一点哭腔:“可我想和叁叔待在一起。”

门外响起敲门声。小裴盈愣愣抬头看去,就看见丰神俊朗的少年提着衣摆进门,对裴均止道:“我找了你好久,没想到竟躲在这。”

裴均止也看了过去,唇角衔起笑,抱着小裴盈指着那少年道:“盈盈,这是你方珩哥哥。”

裴盈在闷热潮湿的感觉中醒来。柳州不比宁州凉爽,又快至初夏,难免闷热。天好像快亮了,窗外天光朦朦胧胧的映照进来,好在有男人宽大的身形作为遮掩,落入眼中时,才没看起来那么刺眼。“梦到什么了?”

男人的气息扑撒在眉心,他手中不知何时多了把蒲扇,轻轻地朝她摇着。裴盈想了想说:“梦到你。”

方珩似乎有些不信,特意追问她:“梦到我什么?”

裴盈在他怀里换了个舒服睡姿,才慢慢抬起头,食指按在他唇上,樱唇一启一合:“梦到你变成猪。”

“那可不行。”

方珩牵过她的手,放在掌心吻了吻,“若变成猪,没了现在这般容色,我该拿什么留下娘子,不是有句话么,色衰爱弛。”

裴盈被他惹笑了,忍不住反驳:“方珩,你以为你生得很好看?”

方珩拉着她的手放在脸颊,凤眸仿佛能勾魂摄魄,含着笑意望来:“不好看么?”

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