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第48章无耻潜逃(第1页)

请退出浏览器阅读模式,否则将导致章节内容缺失及无法阅读下一章。🎁黑丝纯欲主播-免费

烧纸?张母都蒙了,啥情况啊?

“你不就是黄皮子成精的那个老太太吗,我眼熟你!”

于耀阳一副自来熟的样子,指着张母说道。

“……。啥?”

“别否认,就是你,黄三奶奶,我认得,你们看,尖嘴猴腮,还有这杀人不用刀的高颧骨,一双贼眉鼠眼滴溜溜乱转的三角眼,这不就长了个黄鼠狼的脸?哎,你别急着否认,你看看你的嘴角,还沾着鸡毛哩!”

“噗!”

如棠没憋住。

他跑这说相声来了?

这都咋琢磨出来的词儿呢,跟顺口溜似的,还挺押韵,倍儿气人。

“你骂我长得像黄皮子?!”

张母可算是反应过来了,这臭小子,阴阳怪气她呢!

“咋能说骂呢,我这不是对你外貌进行客观评价么,阿弥陀佛无量天尊,玉皇大帝王母娘娘快快显神通,收了这个偷鸡的老黄鼠狼精吧!”

于耀阳煞有介事地双手合十,气死人不偿命。

敢说他媳妇是狐狸精,这他能忍?

“老太太,女娲娘娘捏小人的时候别人都是好好放着,就你,biaji一下,脸糊地上了,摔得跟稀溜溜的烤地瓜,你是稀烂贱啊,但长得丑又不是你的错,你坚强的活下去不就完了吗,你非得眼馋比你漂亮的姑娘,这不自讨没趣?咋地,你酸溜溜我媳妇几句,你就能变好看?”

于耀阳又是一通疯狂输出,根本不给张母还嘴的机会,张母也是泼妇界的资深老手了,横行霸道了一辈子,哪儿吃过这个亏?

被于耀阳一通气,血压都上来了,推推儿子说道:“去,教训这小子!”

“华姐,你躲着点。”

如棠看于耀阳一直往垃圾桶上瞄,十分有先见之明的提示,拉着李华远远的躲开。

“小子!你跟谁俩厉害呢?老子当年可是民兵,老子练过突刺刺!突刺刺!突刺刺~~~”

张郞一边说一边比划。

这个突刺刺,是民兵训练里的预备用枪训练,表演出来,就是一步上前,双手往前冲,喊一步冲一下,别人做这个动作都是飒爽英姿,张郞做起来却是滑稽搞笑。

就连郝梅这个啥也不懂的都看出来了,压低声音问如棠:“他看着不怎么厉害啊?”

张郞一边表演着滑稽的突刺刺,一边小碎步朝着于耀阳前进,不知道的,还以为他是在于耀阳施法呢。

于耀阳一脚扫过去,装满垃圾重上百斤的垃圾桶被扫到一边,吓得还在鸟悄前行的张郞熬一下跳起来。

“光说不练假把式,来练练?”

于耀阳活动手腕,勾勾手指头。

张郞一看就知道,这家伙是真正的练家子,惹不起,也顾不上突刺刺展示了,甚至连自己老娘都不要了,掉头就跑。

动作快的惊人,一边跑一边回头喊:“妈,我来吸引敌人的火力,你快走!我掩护,你跑!”

“……“如棠一阵无语。

郝梅又看明白了,扭头问未来女婿:“他这是把亲妈丢了,自己跑了吧?”

掩护个屁啊,这分明是无耻潜逃!

于耀阳收招,对着岳母点点头,又转头问同样无语的李华:“华姐,你到底看上这孬种啥了?这家伙要是在战时,妥妥的投敌叛国。”

李华点点头,她也觉得跟这种孬种做夫妻太丢人了,男子汉大丈夫,甭管打得过打不过,咋能丢下自己亲妈呢?

就算张母为人是膈应了点,但再膈应,也是他亲妈啊,咋好意思跑呢。

“李华,你这个,你这个——你不尊重长辈!”

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