第61章 突然恨她(第2页)
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裴今宴下值回来,翻身下马后,照例把缰绳递给迎出来的门房,“今日府上,可有事发生?”
门房答道,“回国公爷,有两件事。第一件事是裴二夫人下了命令,说从今以后,我们要听夫人使唤。第二件事是,雁声院的丫鬟来,让小人转达给国公爷说,夫人有事与国公爷相谈,但不算紧急,等国公爷忙完自己的事后,定个时间地点,差人寻她便可。”
裴今宴沉思片刻,便也了然——这么多天,苏明妆别说找他,甚至没在他眼前出现过。
今日突然找他,应该也不是私事,多半是望江楼之事。
他倒是没多想,便直接去了知春院,看望母亲去了。
行走一路,裴今宴脚步轻快,脸上的笑容也是越发轻松——母亲的身体一天比一天好转,他太高兴了。
再这么下去,搞不好再有两个月,母亲便能恢复。
突然,轻松的心情,却猛地沉了一下,因为他想到这些都是苏明妆的功劳,同时也是银子的功劳。
银子……
轻快的脚步开始沉重,速度也减缓。
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他慢慢走在路上,视线越来越彷徨——自幼,父母便教导他,身为男子汉,应顶天立地,切不可鼠目寸光,也不能拘泥于一方府邸,而要将目光投向广袤天下以及遥远未来。
比如,岳飞之母在儿背上刺下“精忠报国”
四字,激励他心怀天下,不被眼前的安逸所迷惑。
又比如,孔子教导弟子们要“志于道,据于德,依于仁,游于艺”
,也是在告诫他们要有放眼天下和未来的胸怀。
他信任父母,一切都按照父母之愿行事,结果呢?竟一副好药都买不起,多亏苏明妆在,否则母亲的性命……
对苏明妆,他很矛盾。
她是他屈辱的起点,因为她的栽赃,他身败名裂、名声扫地。
但同时,又因为她的出现,他的认知发生了一些变化。
恰如今时此刻,他开始质疑往昔所秉持的信念究竟是对是错,到底应严格约束自身、竭力追求高洁之境,还是活得更有烟火气,有血有肉、有对有错、有黑有白。
但裴家前辈清风峻节,到他这一代突然追求烟火,外界会如何评价?他会不会丢了裴家的晚节?列祖列宗会不会责怪他?
但继续这么下去,又……
他想起婶母说的话——若是能想通便想;想不通,便按照他的想法继续活着。
他突然有些“恨”
苏明妆了,并非她栽赃他,而是……她让他迷茫。
——
——
PS:这里有个BUG,本文为架空文,按照道理不应该出现岳飞和孔子,但作者又不想剽窃他们的伟大思想,来为我这破烂网文小说服务。
所以思来想去,就来个BUG吧,希望姐妹们一笑而过,轻喷。
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