第95章 没人会笑话你(第2页)
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是的,这么自作多情的事,裴今酌根本做不出来。
如果真的头脑一热去做了,回头怕是半夜醒来,都得给自己两巴掌。
再见苏明妆,有地缝钻地缝,没地缝就跳河,哪还有脸面见人?
况且还会暴露堂兄,让苏明妆知道堂兄暗中调查她。
“但……如果制止,他真让我去参军了怎么办?”
裴今酌郁闷得几乎要跳脚。
裴今宴看着堂弟,突然笑了。
裴今酌一愣,疑惑地看去,“大哥,你笑什么?”
裴今宴长长舒一口气,之后举头看向银盘般的圆月,“我笑,因为在你身上看到从前的我。刚被她栽赃时,我也这般暴跳如雷,后来母亲因为她的药,身体康复;望江楼因为她的参与,重获生机。最后,我不仅没资格指责她,甚至还在想,被她诬赖,会不会是上天对我的眷顾?哈,我是不是失心疯?”
“……”
裴今酌——是失心疯!
“而你呢?你不想在人生最有希望的几年,浪费在食之无味弃之可惜的武科举上,你想参军、想建功立业、想振兴裴家,父母却不肯,因为此事,你几乎郁结成疾。
但如果苏明妆真的有办法,让你参军成功,你忍心拒绝吗?不用着急回答我,问问你的内心,你忍心吗?”
“……”
男子的声音,平静如水、凉薄如冰,犀利得犹如利刃,把裴今酌强撑着的面子割开,露出其中私心。
没错,他想……
他做梦都希望找到个办法,在不得罪父母的情况下、不被迫成亲生子的情况下,参军建功立业。
如果苏明妆真帮他了,还真是既不得罪父母,又不用成亲生子,却……
意识到自己卑鄙的私心,裴今酌面孔赤红。
裴今宴见到堂弟失态,自嘲道,“没关系,天知地知你知我知,没人会笑话你,因为……我也这么卑鄙无耻。”
“……”
裴今酌面色复杂地看向堂兄,那个他一向敬仰,当成长辈一般尊敬的堂兄。
才发现,堂兄的尊严早就被撕破了。
“大哥,我……不想与她有瓜葛,也不想占她便宜,我该怎么办?”
“你可以现在去拒绝,也可以她办到后,再拒绝,”
裴今宴声音平静,置身事外,“两种方法各有利弊。现在去拒绝的弊端,是暴露我调查她,加之有自作多情之嫌;优点是,你不会被贪心所折磨。
至于办成之后拒绝,利弊则正好相反。利处便不累述,至于弊端……从现在开始,哪怕是一切顺利,你也有最少七年的时间准备武科举,这七年,你每每回忆有机会可以实现梦想,都会一次次挣扎、后悔,痛不欲生。”
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