第89章(第2页)
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从五岁到十八岁,十三年的时间,在人生所有的关键节点,我都同你一齐分享过,所以并没有遗憾。只是很不放心你,毕竟你很容易哭,但我不能抱你。
天气预报说今年冬天会比往常的气温低,你记得多穿衣服,别为了帅只穿单衣,好好盖被,别感冒了。如果可以的话早点忘记我,不要想我,好好开始你的新生活。我很爱你。”
或许因为不习惯写正常的字,应逐星并没有长篇大论。而最后修修改改,越减越少,成了这样一封语调官方、克制、不表述自己的愿望与情绪,只希望荆平野快乐与不掉眼泪的遗书。
2月11号,应逐星在北京复检结束,回到滨城。
年假才过两天,荆川:“我打算跟你妈回你爷奶家,一块去不?”
“不去了,考完试的暑假再去,我得在家整理错题,”
荆平野替应逐星也找好借口,“我哥也得准备开学的考试,他也不去。”
也不是头一年如此,夏蕾没有什么意见,只是说:“在家别捣乱,顺便打扫一下卫生,有事打电话。”
荆平野:“得令!”
大人吃完午饭走的。下午,荆平野看了检查单,显示状况良好,甚至于恢复得出预期。现在应逐星基本可以明确感知轮廓,完全复明似乎也变得并不遥远。
黑豆已经带去了爷爷奶奶家,晚饭后不需要遛狗,因而学习任务完成后时间尚早。应逐星洗漱完后,刚上床,荆平野便四肢缠抱上去:“亲嘴吗?”
“干什么?”
应逐星笑起来,“我都还没上来。”
荆平野嘿嘿笑了声,主动仰头,应逐星抱住了他,水声啧啧地接吻。寒冬腊月,房间里虽有暖气,但温度仍是不够适宜,应逐星怕他冷着,正想揭被子时,荆平野却是扣住了他的手,小声说:“我看到你写的遗书了。”
应逐星愣住:“……”
荆平野:“医生都说手术成功概率很大,你怎么连医生的话都不信?”
“……没有不信,”
应逐星抵着他的额头,轻声说,“我只是很怕万一,万一失败了,万一命运不垂青我,我也不能失信,总得留下只言片语和你好好道别。”
荆平野说:“但我怎么可能不想你?我第一次爱人,我多喜欢你,如果你不在了,我怎么会忘记你呢?”
应逐星心脏酸涩,他们挤在狭窄的床铺里,感知着彼此真实的呼吸,应逐星轻轻摩挲他的面颊,低声:“如果真的不在了,白白占着位置干什么,还不如忘了,兴许你还能少掉点眼泪。”
荆平野:“如果你死了,我也不想活啦。”
应逐星立马说:“不能这么说。”
“好好好,”
荆平野说,“不过你当时做手术的时候,我都快吓死了,在心里祈祷好多遍,我说,我可以少活十年、二十年,来换你的手术成功。”
应逐星一凛:“你向谁祈祷的?”
“上帝。”
应逐星突然起身,伸手去找外套:“我搜搜地图。”
荆平野稀里糊涂:“去哪儿啊?”
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