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第8页(第2页)

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杨老妇人忽然低低的叹息了句,神情居然流露出一抹淡淡的、不易察觉的讶异。我听得一头雾水之际,她却又消减了语气中饱含的讶异,轻声问,“丫头,你义父义母以何为生?你又会些什么?”

这可就难倒我了。我总不能说,我老妈是家庭煮妇,我老爹是研究员,从事生物工程。也不能说,我自己会英语、会数学、还任职化学课代表吧?==

愣了愣,我还是只能继续编故事,“义父生前乃是一名铁匠,而义母也只是在家中纺丝织布,做做针线活……至于排风,实在是无能,除了洗完刷锅劈柴喂狗之类粗重活儿,其他的一概不会。”

犹豫半会,杨老夫人道,“既然如此……”

第五声重重的咳嗽。不过这一次,声源不是来自菊婶,而是发自二夫人。

“母亲大人,朝廷内外觊觎威武将军之奸佞小人何其多,让一名身份背景皆不可靠的孤女自由出入杨府,实在不妥。”

“我,我会说笑话,能使、使老夫人您常常喜笑颜开。”

二夫人哇,你就不要拦了我晋级成婢的去路。情急之下,我冲口而出,“曾经有位侍郎,也有位尚书。他们二者彼此不和。某天,两人相约同一名御史官赴宴饮酒。”

“席间,尚书指着一只狗问侍郎:“是狼(侍郎)是狗??”

“侍郎非常机敏,听出尚书借谐音在辱骂自己,立刻泰然自若地回答:“垂尾是狼,上竖(尚书)是狗。”

“想讨好尚书的御史也听出了此中机巧,却故意接道——‘是狼是狗’我是明白了。”

“侍郎一听,知道御史用意,又从容不迫地说——‘还有区别呢,狼的习性是吃肉,狗的习性是遇啥吃啥,遇屎(御史)吃屎!’

说罢,我在心底得意笑。

但周遭,却是一片沉默。

菊婶蹙紧眉头,二夫人早已是青黑了脸色,而方才还是慈眉善目的老夫人,现在也是肃穆了神情。

呃……这个不灵验?再换。

清清嗓子,我笑曰,“八月十五当晚,一群同乡聚会,吃的是南国川菜。其中有一道蜀州辣子鸡,鸡就那么一丁点,到是满山遍野的红辣椒。不多会,肉就几乎没有了,大家都在那找啊找,这时——

一位仁兄先打开话匣子,你们知道这道菜别名是什么吗?

怡红院!

为什么叫怡红院?

另一兄台边低头在菜里面翻,一边回答:找鸡!”

第六声重重的咳嗽,二夫人已然眼冒绿光。

以手拍抚着胸口,杨老夫人居然涨红了双颊,似乎是因为心跳加快而导致气息不稳,“菊、菊婶,你先带排风这丫头下去……就、就安排至厨房罢。”

(⊙o⊙)耶,面试成功?

我还来不及回应,菊婶尴尬着脸色,应声回答,“是。”

……

“菊婶,方才真是谢谢你。”

出了别苑,亦步亦趋追随着菊婶,我喜笑颜开的对她道谢,“幸亏你多番好意提点,我才没有说错话,惊扰老夫人。”

她抿着唇,一言不发,只顾加快步速。

感觉到她似乎是急于把我抛至厨房便可撒手不管,我倏然觉得几分惭愧,“菊婶,你是不是嫌弃排风话唠?”

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