第4章 离婚应该怎样去面对(第1页)
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婚姻的本质,是看见自己。如果婚姻给你带来的消耗远大于滋养,如果你能足够强大,无论物质还是心理上都能够承担以后的生活,那离婚就只是一个选择,而不是灾难。婚姻确实是,选择大于努力,但不是每个人都能做正确的选择,这个选择也是因缘合合。注定的阴差阳错。所以,很多人最后都把离婚的原因,归结于命中注定,我觉得这是个最好的理由。因为有时候并不是懂很多经营婚姻的方法,就一定能生活幸福。我没有见过哪本书上敢写,做到以下几点,你的婚姻就是满分,同样,也没有人规定,离婚就证明你人生不及格。能在离婚时把刀锋相见变成一别两宽,各生欢喜,这是给婚姻留下的体面,也是善良。
孩子和父母之间也是因缘,他不过借了我们的身体来到世上。说人各有命,不如说各有使命,我们为人父母,做好责任分内之事,慢慢退出孩子的成长轨迹,送他们渐行渐远。其实,每个人的一生中,最重要的人只能是自己,为了孩子为了父母,这些都不是牺牲自己的理由。无数在婚姻中苟延残喘的人,都死在想给孩子一个完美的家上面。我想说的是,一个家先是有温度,其次才是完整。在离婚时,两个人都能把孩子看做成独立的人,而不是等同于财产有归属,以不影响孩子的正常生活和心理成长为出点,那么抚养权是你的,还是我的,其实都没有意义。
希望婚姻里不能达成的共识,在离婚这一关,能够互相退让一步,留出的不是示弱和无能,而是对孩子的爱和弥补。不是每一朵花都会有结果,经历了风吹雨打之后,能成熟的才叫果实。婚姻是不断精进的修行,当我们内心无所缺,实现了自我圆满,能够做到爱自己,爱满则溢,然后才能做到“利他”
,才能学会爱别人。进退维谷,取舍两难,中年离婚的创伤不亚于至亲之人的离逝,希望没有经历过的人永远不要去经历,走过来的人,能以此为二门契机成长开悟,也是值得,祝福所有。
不要等我哭了,你才说疼我;不要等我累了,你才想起我;不要等我走了,你才说舍不得我,感情不是等你有空了才去珍惜,花都枯萎了,你才想起来去浇筑,这就有点多余了,,要知道迟来的深情比草都贱,错过了,不是错了,而是过了,这世界上只有和好,但是没有和好如初,热情一旦耗尽了,就只剩下冷漠,树叶不是一天黄的,人心不是一天凉的,所有的感情都是,在细节中崩溃,在失望中放手,破镜即使重圆,也会有裂痕,绳子断了,再怎么系它都有结,心寒了就再也捂不热了。谁影响我,我就放弃谁。盛不盛开,花都是花,有你没你,我都是我,无爱可破情局。无情可破全局!
我现在只在乎三件事:我的钱,我的健康,我内心的平静。谁影响我,我放弃谁。有你没你我都是我。无爱可破情局,无情可破全局。情绪不挂在脸上,难得要挂在墙上?不要相信压力会转化动力。你的压力只会转化病例。接受分道扬镳,接受世事无常,撑把破伞还真不如淋雨。
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