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第9章 结局(第1页)

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爱一个人最好的方式是无他,忘掉一个人最好的方式也是无他。其实很多人没有认真的想过,真的有人会伤害到你吗?其实没有,除非你给了别人伤害你的机会。在这个基础之下你就应该明白,所谓的感情的痛苦和挫折无一不在提醒着你自身的问题或者你自身的匮乏。可这匮乏到底来源于哪里呢?其实还是来源于缺爱,没有觉醒的人或多或少一定会缺爱,缺爱换句话说也就是欲望重,欲望也就是付出之前已经想好了回报。当付出了回报来临的时候,你觉得是你的付出给你带来的,你沾沾自喜,当付出了会没有来,由于前面你觉得你的回报是你的付出带来的,回报没有来的时候,你也一定会觉得对方给你带来的痛苦,在这个欲望一正一反之中,没有认识到,就很容易走向恶性循环,最后酿成一个大的恶果。

无他是什么呢?一个好的结果,感谢感恩对方,一个不好的结果,那就找自己的问题,这种人,没人不会喜欢,但是前者也说了,好的结果,沾沾自喜,不好的结果怪罪别人,这种人也没没人会喜欢。这也是兽性的使然,人人都得过这一关,一旦经历过了,听懂了,悟自己悟明白了,也就知道为什么叫做颠倒人生了。人活在规律之中,你跟规律相反了,必然会受到惩罚,而惩罚是让你醒悟,而不是让你麻痹,好好体悟,多找自己的问题,少找别人的问题,其实这样才是真正的在帮助对方,因为你不找别人问题的时候,因种下了,别人在找你问题的时候,你依旧保持,往往这种不求回报包容性的力量,会融化绝大部分的困难,即使最后这个感情结果,没有如你所愿,至少你成长了,你也得到了,为未来感情的结果又做好了铺垫,你这样下去,你永远都不会亏,这也叫做大智若愚,别人认为你傻,其实这恰恰是有智慧,要做有智慧的人,而不是做聪明的人,智慧的人看得长远,聪明的人看近处。夫妻的尽头,大都是冤家。

不论年轻时有多恩爱,或年老时不离不弃,但最终都会有一种我为你耗尽一生,你为我精疲力尽的感觉,总感觉自己的人生有点不值得。其实现代夫妻能走到最后的都是很难,大都是靠着小孩的份上勉强维持一生,真正恩爱的夫妻已少之又少,除非有特别的物质持,或者衣食无忧。曲黎敏说:“没有痛苦的婚姻是奇迹,能坚持到金婚,钻石婚的,要么极端平庸,要么极端有修养,而且平衡感极强,有能力化解痛苦……”

想要通透过好婚姻,难而又难。夫妻定律—妻子做到:只鼓励,不唠叨;只撒娇,不命令;只理解,不误会;只努力,不抱怨;坚持下去,你就会现,你的男人变得越来越优秀顾家,越来越懂你爱你!丈夫做到:只保护,不责怪;只挣钱,不暖胃;只包容,不火;只赞美,不嫌弃;坚持下去你就会现,你的女人变得越来越温柔贤惠,越来越懂得疼你!在夫妻的相处中,总有些事情会在心头留下阴影。不将过往的争吵留在心中,不让小小的瑕疵遮住了对方的光芒,这样的境界,平日里多多修炼心性,多行善积德。

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