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神经质(第1页)

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  “这么快就有我们了。”

  他音调平静地像在无线电台读广播,听不出生气劲儿。但姚简做贼心虚,她反唇道:“你别阴阳怪气的。”

  姚述强调:“我只耽误你几分钟。”

  “我知道,但我不能和你说话。咱们之间没什么话好说的了,该说的我好久前就和你说完了。”

  那时在马来西亚的海滩旁,她接过6东羿的电话,起身转向海边和他私下聊,隔着听筒她告诉姚述。

  “你不是觉得我也爱你么?我现在就实话告诉你,我确实有喜欢的人了,但不是你。6东羿回来了,他还爱我,我也爱他,我也用不着拿你替他了。”

  死寂似的停顿延展片刻。

  那时候姚述的声音全然不似现下般平静,他嗓音喑哑,舌尖每每剐蹭上下牙膛出声响,都粘连着血丝似地,像他在隔着听筒剜自己。

  “别骗我。”

  “我有什么骗你的必要么?是,我知道你喜欢我,那只能说明你疯的不清,你喜欢谁不好你喜欢我。我告诉你姚述,我是个正常人,你知道正常人怎么活吗?他们跟人正常相处、恋爱、有的还结婚。我承认我也不是什么好人,我有生理需求,我……”

  “别说了。”

  姚述的喉咙刀割般声响凄厉,韧痛牵一而动全身,只能一字一句地吐出细碎的词句,打断她仿佛是于心不忍,怕她将来会为自己此刻说的话后悔。

  “回家,回家见我。”

  “那不是我家。我早没家了。”

  姚简顿感无望,胸膛闷涨,她和姚述说不清,说罢电话挂断的干脆利落。

  她不知道在电话那边,姚述听着听筒传来的急剧上扬的挂断音,喉管猛地一滞忽而涌出一股鲜血,咽喉处的伤口因情绪波动而直直撕裂。

  姚述扼着脖颈吞咽着自己唇齿间的腥锈,修长的脖颈铁石般冰凉,唯有缓缓流淌的温血在喉中翻涌的律动令他觉察自己还活着。

  这件事他谁都没说,他也说不出是什么感觉,姚简又一次离开他,情绪比以往来得都汹涌。

  不像高中,即使她离开他,她的心是掏空过的,干干净净谁都没有。

  她骗过他好些次了,她说她恋爱了,她爱上别人了,她爱别人爱的死去活来了。

  但他每次都知道她在骗人。姚简骗人时有个小毛病,她会无意识地怂怂鼻尖,这点和高中时特像,除了她,他还没注意过谁撒谎那么容易被拆穿。

  从小到大他眼里除了她就没别人了。

  姚述心里清楚,他有时候是很神经质,他认。

  就像他现在聚精会神地望着姚简那颗颧骨痣望地过分出神,随即用指关节上方一处凹陷轻而易举地拉开她的车门。

  他拉着姚简的手腕,怕稍微一松手她就会销声匿迹般抬了下下巴,用眼神示意她上车:“你想和我好聚好散就得和我说话,逼自己也得说。”

  姚简剜了他一眼,鼻腔中泛出丝冷哼。

  “我看咱们俩是好聚好散不了了。”

  她才弯腰上车,便感到掌心一凉,坐还没坐稳便被人挤到一侧去了,肩膀处也被他的肩胛骨撞地生疼。

  这么久以来,姚述头一回不去顾她疼不疼。

  往常她磕了碰了,但凡他看到了,准要来夸张地嘘寒问暖,仿佛她是什么保护动物似的。  副驾驶座里的姚简也咬紧牙根不言语,吞下所有抱怨的话,她觉得这样更好,姚述这辈子都别那么一惊一乍的最好。他恨她就更好了,恨地你死我活的才能让她更舒坦。

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