第83节(第2页)
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安逢道:“我假意对兄长情根深种,对你由爱生恨,而后装作无知愤恼模样,听信陈一示离间言语,与将军府上下日渐离心。”
此话如同惊雷,震得凌初眼前遽然一黑,看不清安逢神情,只觉呼吸冰冷刺骨,寒冷得痛彻心扉,他头脑震痛,都觉得自己站不稳,身躯摇晃了一下,半晌,他才听见自己嘶哑的嗓音:“……不可能,我不信,明明元夕节那夜……”
安逢目不转睛,紧盯着凌初,道:“那只是药性发作,让你我都失了理智,只是兄长心智坚定,推开了我,自己走了,还要谢兄长君子之风,避此丑事。”
好一个君子之风,好一个丑事……
凌初双目赤红,眸中血丝浓郁,隐有水光,口中仍旧沙哑地重复:“莫说这些话,我根本不信!你是在怨我……你知道我不止一次悔恨那夜的事……”
他知道安逢记起来后会怪他恨他,但他有信心能争取到安逢的原谅,这其中最大的倚仗便是安逢对自己不浅的情意。
可如今都是假的,是做戏?这怎能让他接受……
“我不怨兄长,”
安逢侧过身,面无表情,“兄长那时厌恶我,觉得我自轻自贱,我又何尝不是这样觉得?”
凌初低声道:“我并非厌恶,我只觉得你变得古怪,像是变了个人,我难以想通,而且……”
凌初止住了话。
安逢接下话:“而且守卫军一大堆的事务案卷,兄长披星戴月,夙夜匪懈,我却一直纠缠,引你烦躁……”
安逢轻笑:“我就是故意的,故意惹你生厌,我早就变了,那时的我脾性大改,而失忆后的我变回十六岁,心性还算稚纯,兄长后来生了别的心思,不过是因你我兄弟之情有了几分愧意难过,又忽然觉得我变了性子,相处新鲜,你并非是动情,只是心思乱了,十六七岁的我难以分辨兄长的情绪,但如今的我能明白。”
一大段的话全是为了撇清关系,凌初看着安逢冷淡的模样,心头已痛到麻木,仿佛已感受不到跳动,“你不明白,如今我比谁都清楚自己的心,”
他难以自控,已是双眸微湿,“这些时日的相处,与你耳鬓厮磨,共读话本,怎不算情?”
安逢冷冷道:“那又如何?若我未曾失去记忆,我是绝不会让兄长靠近我半分,兄长也莫要将我那陋策当真。”
凌初心口如被重锤击打,喉头似有腥甜涌上他阖眸,竭力让自己冷静,良久,才缓缓睁眼,他眸中仍然一片糟乱的血丝,面色冷然镇定许多,他抬手,两指钳住安逢下巴,使力让安逢看向自己。
安逢看清了凌初眼中的泪光,冷漠地转开眼神,打开了凌初的手。
这次雨中劫难让安逢下巴都尖了些,凌初看着安逢,眸光深邃黑沉,“可小逢,你那计策简直漏洞百出,仅仅是这些,不足以让陈一示信你同将军府闹翻……”
安逢眼眸微垂,并无被戳中的慌乱,“兄长又不是陈一示,怎知他想的是什么,他低估我,这是他的愚蠢。”
凌初姑且不再提陈一示,“成端云来将军府月余便走了,你若是真做戏,何必做到年底?”
安逢道:“我不知将军府中是否还另有眼线,不敢掉以轻心。”
凌初行进一步,沉声问:“那我送你的玉如意又是怎么回事?”
安逢后退半步,平静道:“成端云故意打碎它,我顺势发火,他捉弄我,将玉如意打进了玉势里头给了我,我只能接受。”
凌初仍然步步紧逼,说话极快,有极细地颤抖:“你明明在成端云进府之前就对我有意,三月初四那日,你对我说的那番话字字真心,还有之前盘鹤楼你向我丢花相迎,皆是你对我的心意,你说的做戏计策根本不通常理!”
安逢毫不犹疑:“因为那时的心意只是一种依赖和错觉!所谓盘鹤楼的丢花,只是气你离京砸向你而已,是怀着气恼和嫉恨!那夜谈起此事,只是顺便回应兄长替我摘花之谊,是缠绵后欺骗你的一句情话。我那时怎会对你有一点心思?你二话不说丢下我便离了京,再收到你消息时却是娘亲收你为义子!回京时你可真是好风光!我自小就没得她半分教导,她如此器重你,偏爱你,兄长以为我心里对你没有一点嫉妒和恨意吗!”
嫉妒?恨意?
凌初呆滞地看着安逢,真正体会到了何为锥心之痛,他面容满是惊愕痛楚,回想起过去安逢对自己刻意的冷淡,不松口唤他义兄而惹来的非议,还有每一个望向自己的复杂眼神……
凌初声音颤抖:“可你生辰过后对我说的那些话……还有你失忆后,你我如此亲密,你怎可能对我一点心思都没有?”
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