一丝希望(第1页)
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人活在世,不能没了希望。
孩子,总是忘的快,连续几日的不快,也不得不试着接受,虽然依旧心有不甘。我开始每天过着看似快乐的时光,每天除了吃饭,只是剩下了和弟弟玩的时光,时不时的听着奶奶给我念叨着着一些听不懂的话。现在想想,无非是一些过去的旧事或是东家西家的事罢了。
整日在院子里玩也觉得有些单调,偶尔带着弟弟去地里找父亲母亲,总是说春种秋收,可我们西北黄土高原,一年一茬的冬小麦,秋种夏收,那时不像现如今,瓜果蔬菜,粮食都有,只能是小麦,玉米,高粱这些主要的粮食作物。农村的娃娃都爱刨土玩,在地头打闹也挺有意思,叫父母看起来,娃娃们玩的好,心情也好了不少,或许心里也会觉得我已经把上学的事揭过去了。
可是,他们绝对低估了一个孩子的执着
不知当时是怎么想的,之后每天早上起的很早,每当哥哥要上学的时候,我就跟在他后面,一直跟到大路口。刚开始,哥哥还有些不适应,可能大家都觉的我是否脑子出了问题。大家观察了两三天,在路口看着大家走远之后,我也就回家了,随即也没有说过什么。到了快中午的时候,感觉学生要放学,又会拉着弟弟去路口等哥哥,等他回来一起回家,刚开始,我一次不落,一天四趟,大致记得跟了很久,后来变成早晚两次了,那段时间,觉的这样的迎来送往,也挺有意思。
弟弟只与我一人玩也是孤单,所以偶尔我会带着他在庄子里找别家小孩子一起玩,那时候,总有庄子里的人说:“映娥真乖,都能带弟弟了”
我总是不作回答,自顾的玩着,来掩饰心中那丝不甘。当然,整日陪弟弟,我也会觉得无聊,等到上学的孩子们下午回来了,我便会找她们,她们给我说着学校里生的一切,老师用竹子教杆打了谁十下手掌,谁下雨路滑摔了个狗吃屎,谁低头走进了女厕所……感觉在他们的世界里,总是充满了各种令人大笑的事情,而我……
玩的太久,回家免不了被骂一顿“野人,自己疯就够了,还带着弟弟”
之类的话,有时也会被大喊着名字叫回来,我总是不说话,骂也就骂了。有几次,弟弟非闹着要跟我睡在一起,我也试着学着大人,拍着他的肩膀,嘴里哼着“世上只有妈妈好,有妈的孩子像块宝……小燕子,穿花衣,年年春天在这里……”
忘记了是从哥哥嘴里听来的,还是跟村里的伙伴们学的,总之,就这么带着弟弟,一天天忙着玩,也一天天的长大。
后来,开始粘着哥哥教我写字,学了几天,却也是看起来容易,写起来难,隐约记得一个田字,学了好久也是一块四分五裂的田。看到如此,母亲有时会说“哎,这要是去了学校,也学不出个啥模样”
,虽已对这种话已经不那么在意,还是勉强学会用各种看着别扭的笔画,拼起了自己的名字。
有一天,不知是吹的什么风,父亲走过来说,等弟弟再大点,能上学了,你俩一起上去,虽然迟了两年,多少也学点文化。那晚我偷偷的哭了,也许是老天睁眼了吧?往后的日子,我认真照顾弟弟,不和大人犟嘴,尝试着干其他的家务。
一丝希望,似乎又变成了一道光,照进了我的心里。
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