第7章(第1页)
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这年头,仙童不好做啊!
七水越想越悲愤,头也不回地出了房间。他哪里知道,这盘鸡腿即将引发多大一件祸事。
作者有话要说:完了完了,别人的存稿要用完了,为了鼓励喵继续日更,大家冒个泡,来嘛~~
顺便喵给大家讲个热笑话:
从前有个人,他叫小霸王,从不冒泡,然后终于有一天,他在水下面冻死了。╭(╯╰)╮
5
5、
蟠桃会当日,天宫云雾蔼蔼,众仙齐聚,说不出的热闹非凡。
玉帝与众仙共捧流光杯庆祝,王母娘娘亦特派仙娥们分发蟠桃。虽说今年的仙桃,呃~酸是酸了点,但蟠桃不比其他桃子,一来延年益寿助长修为,二来是王母娘娘亲自种的桃子,谁也不敢驳了她老人家的好意,接过蟠桃都是笑语盈盈,啃着酸桃子还不敢瘪嘴,一个劲儿地称赞“美啊美”
。
可偶尔,也有那么两三个不识相的。
仙娥将蟠桃派发到浚束凤君玉阶座前时,浚束却赫然起身,端步到台前拂袖福身:“请娘娘降罪,这蟠桃浚束不敢受!”
见状,玉帝和王母面面相觑,皆伸颈去看,便见九洲统领御使——浚束凤君临风而立,说不出的俊朗飘逸,两人又颇有默契地噤声了。
说到这浚束,一直都是玉帝的一个心结。话说仙族统一三界,龙凤两族皆立下犬马功劳。玉帝感而恩之,将凤神浚渊与神龙紫泽皆封为上古神兽,赐无隙碧树与龙谷为两族领地。
但不知是否八字不合,龙凤两族时有摩擦发生,千年前,更险些大动干戈。原道,凤凰五行属火,被视为阳,代表雄性;而龙五行属水,被视为阴,代表雌性。但凡间人类却觉龙的秉性外形更霸气张扬,以其代表帝王形象,凤凰却位居后的形象,更是大改龙为阳,凤为阴。
凡人无知,本是小事一桩,凤神却是小气猜疑出了名的君帝,为此大动肝火,怀疑龙族私下与凡人交好,这才颠倒阴阳。玉帝好说歹说,终劝得两族言和,凤神浚渊却盛火难消,拂袖直言,绝不会再福泽凡人,而原本由凤族掌管的凡间御使也就空缺下来。
凡间御使,即统管九洲的土地神,与类似灶神苏吉利、厕神紫姑、痘神张帅这样的地方小仙打交道。主要职责即保佑凡间,统领各方土地神。凤族丢下如此烂摊子,玉帝无奈,命龙族二子睚眦掌管。
几百年来风调雨顺,就在玉帝以为此事告一段落时,睚眦却因种种缘由,被贬入凡间,回家娶老婆生孩子去了。凡间御使一职再次空缺,玉帝急得团团转,王母娘娘晓之以理、动之以情,又使了些计谋凤神浚渊这才终于答应,让自己儿子担任此职。
谁料浚束一入天宫却道,“要我做凡间御使可以,让睚眦打败我即可。”
玉帝闻言,便知浚束其心歹毒。这凡间御使一职听起来风光无限,却是个实打实的苦差事。除了要时常协助各方土地神打理凡间事务,更要时时防范邻近小妖小怪来犯,东家长西家短:一会儿这方土地神嚷着要提前退休,那方土地神哭诉被附近小妖欺负,那头土地神又抱怨自己分配的地方瘟疫不断,连个供品都没有……
正是如此,龙凤两族才你推我攘,皆不愿接下这门苦差事。眼下凤神假意答应,却言明要儿子与早已修为灵力尽失的凡人睚眦比试,还有何悬念?可谁也没料到,比试当天,浚束却错算一招,满盘皆输……
从冗长的回忆中回神,玉帝咳嗽声:“浚束可是嫌弃仙桃有些酸,这……”
不等玉帝说罢,浚束已俯首又道:“浚束不敢。蟠桃乃日月之精华所凝结,更是娘娘亲手种植之物,自是珍贵无比。浚束不愿接纳,是因为受之有愧。”
玉帝默了默,不知浚束心里装的什么葫芦,踌躇番才问:“何以解?”
浚束道:“小仙自入天宫,颇得玉帝和王母娘娘的赏识,做得九洲统领御使,虽时有差错玉帝与娘娘也未曾责罚。近日凡界平乐镇土地神罗阳小仙因年事已高,已告老还乡。浚束未能未雨绸缪,一时之间竟找不到仙僚交接平乐镇,实乃失职,如此又叫浚束怎敢接受娘娘的蟠桃?”
语毕,大殿之上静默一片。浚束言之凿凿,语气虽是谦卑至极,脸上傲倨之情却毫不掩饰。玉帝端坐殿前,暗地里,牙根却已暗暗发痒。浚束小儿这是在报复啊报复!
原来玉帝还道浚束逆来顺受,四百年来早已随遇而安。可现在这个状况哪里是!他分明就是按兵不动,故意等着今天要出自己糗啊!平乐镇是老大难问题了,因为清贫一再被众仙嫌弃,土地神是换了又换,好不安生。这事玉帝睁一只眼闭一只眼,只当看不见,一点出手相助的意思都没有。
是以浚束一怒之下,竟故意挑在蟠桃盛会这样众仙云集的日子,把烫手山芋冠冕堂皇地丢给玉帝大人了。
浚束小儿,你好狠!
玉帝面有难色,清了清声道:“浚束啊,这事下来再——”
“请玉帝和王母娘娘降罪!”
浚束铿锵有力,直接驳回了玉帝大人“日后再议”
的想法。
一时间,玉帝噤若寒蝉。众仙也都不说话,只隔岸观火——看大戏。
玉帝抹了把冷汗,正思忖着怎么下台,倒是王母解了围。王母道:“浚束凤君向来谨慎小心,此次事情也不能全怪你。我和玉帝明白你急于解决问题的心情,只是这一时半会儿,又哪里去找合适的土地神?下来……”
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