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第341章(第1页)

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没有电,那一闪一闪的雷和轰隆隆的声响就在身边围绕着,一直从午后到,可惜最后落水而亡。我记得每年六月时那里的稻田一片碧绿,风一吹,海浪一样美。那里的冬天去得快,桃花比梅花开得还早。那里的水那样清澈,泥土铲下去常有蚯蚓。我去过稻田里秋收,那时候不懂,常常把稻穗踩掉,她不舍得骂我,只是跟在我身后把稻米一粒一粒捡起来……”

林朝朝的声音戛然而止,而后,嚎啕大哭。她已经很久很久没有想起过去的事情了,那些久远到仿佛一个世纪以前的童年本该早早埋于记忆尘土的过去,没有什么轰轰烈烈,没有什么波澜壮阔,有的只是小溪潺潺流动般温和又不起眼的片段,她甚至都记不清老人家的长相,但还能记得她弓着身子捡拾地上稻谷的背影。她不愿意完全忘记过去,过去耽于家族遗产和病体,就算怀念也没有太多时间,现在闲了,那些未曾被遗忘的画面在这个充满雷声的暗日里再次浮现,她才惊觉,隔着说不清的时空缝隙,她曾经错过了什么。

“我,我对不起……不该那么不懂事……”

“我该……去看……”

她哭,眼泪大颗大颗地往下落,哭到涕泪纵横,狼狈无比,没有一点贵女儿该有的仪态和体面,仿佛一个刚出世的婴孩,不顾一切地哭号。她的脊背弯曲着,因为哭号而不断颤抖,眼泪和鼻涕一起掉在了贵妃榻上,衣服上。林朝朝没有这样情绪失控过,从来没有,她以往或喜或怒都不会如此失态,那些情绪尽数内敛,仿佛一颗圆润饱满的珍珠。无双抱住了她不断颤抖的肩膀,落在常人眼里林朝朝刚才实在是诡异莫名其妙得很,明明刚进门时还是神态如常,不过换了件衣服,说了几句话,就这样毫无预兆地大哭起来,实在让人摸不着头脑。但他没有说话,只是克制地环住她双肩,慢慢用干净帕子轻轻擦去她脸上的眼泪和鼻涕,一言不发。四年夫妻,当初那个道士和她说的:“大道有三千,可我的天地不在此处”

,还有当初海外仙山那些事情,他心里又何尝不明白她的不同寻常之处呢?外面雷电交加,蜿蜒曲折的闪电好似不断分叉的树枝,横隔在乌沉沉的天空,紧随而至的雷声像是无数炮弹在云层轰然炸响,无双抱着还在不停哭泣的林朝朝,轻轻地、一下一下地拍着她的后背。这是一种充满温情的姿态,不似以往亲近时涌动的那种情愫与火热,只有一种绵长到丝丝润心的情感,随着他的动作泄露出来。人的情绪是要发泄的,他在生气的时候尚且可以通过练剑疏解,而她却一直将那些压抑,如今痛痛快快地哭一场未必不是好事。“我会永远在你身边,姐姐…晚晚,我都明白。”

我明白你的伤感和纠结,明白你的孤独和忐忑,也知道你在期待和渴望的是什么。相信我,无双永远爱你,不管你是谁,不管你爱或不爱我,都是如此。很久,直到林朝朝哭不动了,无双擦着她眼角的泪痕,轻轻道。他说不出让她不要沉溺过去向前看的话,他不知道过去她经历了什么,又怎么有资格让她不要回想?“我想,她应该很爱很爱你,希望你快乐,希望你没有烦恼,她不会舍得怪你,也不会舍得你为她伤心。”

他的声音清朗而温柔,宽阔的臂膀十足珍重地拢着她,倒是很有丈夫的样子。窗外的风呼呼地刮进来,林朝朝慢慢停止了抽噎,一双眼红通通的,睫毛湿润着颤抖,低下头没去瞧他。

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