第51章 冤家聚头(第1页)
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杨玉兰看见开门的人居然是依然,哈哈冷笑一声,阴阳怪气地说:“哎哟!这真是有‘缘’千里来相会了。”
依然笑道:“是啊!无怨无仇也凑不到一起啊?”
刘均看看杨玉兰,又看看依然,看看依然,又看看杨玉兰,眼睛像丢梭子一样,在两人脸上来回逡巡,反反复复地打量了两人好一会儿,犹豫了好半天,到底也拿不定主意,到底要不要进去,要不要在这里住。
进来这个客舍院落之前,人家寺里已经说了,只有两间客房只住了一人,可以帮忙协调,勉强挤一宿。杨玉兰当时就要寺里给他们协调一间房出来,她要和刘均住在一起。刘均也在一旁帮腔,他们是夫妻,杨玉兰有身孕,需要照顾。他们大概是把寺庙当成是旅馆了。
寺里只好告诉他们,按寺规不能男女同房,即使夫妻也是不行,“那两个小施主是未成年男孩女孩,人家不能住一起,阿弥陀佛,罪过罪过!”
杨玉兰进房,一屁股坐到床上,仰身往后一躺,左右脚交替一踢,两只鞋子呼啦一声飞到了房屋中间。然后把臭脚丫子拿出来,一边自己动手揉着捏着,一边嗲声嗲气地说:“均,我脚都走肿了,你还不给我揉揉捏捏?”
随后跟进的刘均把杨玉兰的鞋子捡起来,端端正正的摆在床前,然后果然凑过去,蹲在杨玉兰面前,捧起那双臭脚丫子,轻轻揉着捏着,边揉捏还边用眼角瞟着依然。
依然不动声色,对他们这一副猥琐样子,只是冷冷地看着。
那刘均也许下午真受了些伤,不一会儿就不大支撑得住,动作有些迟缓。杨玉兰用脚往前面一踢,就踢着了刘均的脸。刘均身子往后一仰,噗通一声摔倒在地。
依然冷眼旁观,语含讥讽地说:“哎哟!姐夫!想不到你还是个模范丈夫哈!不过,要酸臭也不要在这里,这是庙里,亵渎了菩萨要遭报应的!”
杨玉兰一听,莫名道:“姐夫?谁是你姐夫?不要在这里乱认亲戚!你要认姐夫,老娘可不认你这个妹子!”
依然不动声色,走过去拉起刘均,拍一拍刘均的肩背说:“姐夫,难道你准备这样一直装下去?装不认识我?”
刘均说:“别闹!依然妹妹,我头还痛着呢!下午摔的还没好呢。”
依然说:“哎哟!姐夫,我差点忘了,你摔了。你没摔着吧?这庙里是菩萨,俗话说举头三尺有神明,人在做天在看,菩萨都看着呢!你摔了但没摔死,那肯定是菩萨保佑的!不过,你可千万不要做太多缺德事,不然,下次菩萨如果生气,你就完了!这菩萨一生起气来,后果嘛,你知道的!”
杨玉兰听了依然的话,不禁打了个寒噤,瞪了依然一眼。又扯了扯刘均衣裳,小声问道:“什么?她还真是你小姨妹?”
刘均只好说:“她是丰嫣然的妹妹!”
“啪!”
刘均话未说完,脸上就挨了一掌,直打得他脑袋嗡嗡嗡乱响。
刘均的脸上立刻出现了四条指印,火辣辣地痛。
“阿弥陀佛!罪过罪过!众生平等,施主戒嗔戒痴!阿弥陀佛!”
小和尚啥办法也没有,只能双手合十,呼唤佛祖大慈悲,解决危机。
“滚!”
杨玉兰怒火中烧,指着房门喝骂。
小和尚一听,倒退几步。他大概是以为杨玉兰对他指示了。
依然挑衅地瞟了杨玉兰一眼,冷冷地看着这一切。一开始她还以为杨玉兰骂的是她,不过她不会走开让她的。这个房间是她佟依然先住进来,要‘滚’也只能他们自己‘滚’!
房里的三个人,都以为杨玉兰是骂自己。不过要论行动,还是刘均!别看他腿瘸,可是执行起杨玉兰的命令,一点也不含糊。
杨玉兰一个‘滚’字刚刚吐出口,刘均早已经是连滚带爬,‘滚’到了房间门口。
杨玉兰一见,更加生气,又大喝一声“回来”
。刘均一激灵,立刻如陀螺一样,一个旋转,顷刻又回到杨玉兰面前。
刘均回到杨玉兰面前,双手下垂,端端正正站好,像个犯错的小学生,正等着师长的教训,也像个特种兵,正等着指挥官的命令。
依然笑道:“姐夫,你太可爱了,想不到你这样听话——可惜舔错了地方!”
杨玉兰说:“你跑啥?往哪跑?难道要把我扔在这里,独自听那些猪叫狗吠?我是叫你‘滚’吗?我又不是说你,枉自阎王拿个榆木疙瘩放你肩膀上面,耳朵是配相用的?人话都听不懂?”
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