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脸皮(第1页)

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黎国都城之外,两军列阵,鸦雀不闻,立在两军最中间的二帝才被自己的女人抛弃,现在正在努力给自己的臣子证明自己就是自己。

搞笑么?

搞笑。

和后世需要去居委会证明“我妈是我妈”

一样的荒诞。

刺激么?

刺激。

皇帝的身份何等尊贵,现在却需要一群给黎国王公牧马放羊的奴隶来证明他们的真实。

这样匪夷所思的场面在姜家军那严整军阵和强大战力的注解之下成为了现实,甚至在场者无论是谁,全副心神都在这一场稀里糊涂的辨认之下载沉载浮,这一时间,向来窝囊的前沐国王公贵族·现黎国王公贵族的奴隶们竟膨胀地认为他们的分辨真的可以决定历史的走向,连看向二帝的表情都戏谑了起来。

二帝心里陡然生出了不太妙的预感。

然后连一点心理准备的时间都没有,那份预感直接就变成了现实——

“我等北上之路艰难屈辱,两位陛下早便不堪折辱驾鹤西去,一路匆忙连装裹下葬都没有而是弃尸荒野,此是我亲眼所见,岂能有假?”

“两位陛下何等气节!所谓君王死社稷,社稷都没有了,君王岂能独活?也就是两位陛下死在了押送路上,不然到得黎国一样会自尽,怎么会苟且偷生至今?”

“到得黎国之后黎国催逼两位陛下行牵羊礼,要□□上身,身披羊皮,由黎国王公在两位陛下

脖子上系绳,驱之如牛羊,简直屈辱之极!但凡是个正常天子,谁能忍受此等羞辱?两位陛下自然是死了,行牵羊礼的不过是黎国寻到的与两位陛下身形相似的人罢了!这就是为了羞辱我国!其心可诛!”

……

……

……

怎么说呢,虽然士大夫天天嘴里不饶人说什么“最毒妇人心”

,“唯女子与小人难养也”

,但真要论不要脸,咱还得看士大夫→_→

如果说女人们扯谎还会用“你虽然和陛下长得很像,但这是只有我和陛下知道的事,你不知道那你当然不是陛下呀”

来走个流程,士大夫们则是连流程都不想走了,自从第一个开口的壮士定了“陛下特么早就死在路上了,我亲眼看到的(你看到个屁)”

的调子,接下来的发挥都可以围绕着“正经天子能干出这种事?”

来疯狂发挥,连二帝的脸都不看一眼就能直接断定是假的。

毕竟本来那两个人确实是皇帝行业的下水道,正经天子确实干不出他们的操作:)

并且,说起来可能有一点凉薄,但是……但凡不是听起来太离谱,沐国王公大臣们甚至想从黎国围困汴都城的时间点开始编一个“皇帝是假的!已经被人替换了!”

的传奇故事来略略掩盖一下“国力军力财力黎国都比不上沐国,但沐国还是被黎国爆了菊”

的尴尬——只要把锅都甩给君王,在他手底下讨生活的我们看上

去就不会那么愚蠢。

死道友不死贫道嘛!

何况这个道友一点也不上道,我们都去求他带我们一块回南沐了他都只顾自己,那我们在关键时候踩他一脚怎么了?合情合理!

哦,你说现在把这一脚踩完了,等回了黎国开始被那帮人吊起来打该怎么办?

拜托!大佬!

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