第十章 初战黄巾 征服刘焉(第3页)
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刘焉听到这,急忙用一根手指压住刘备的嘴唇,微微闭眼摇头说道:“贤侄怎能和我聊此禁忌话题,借这个字太敏感了!谁和我借,无论借什么都有可能让我大小便失禁!”
刘备忙扒开刘焉的手指,吐了口吐沫说道:“老叔这个动作才是犯了禁忌,你也碰到我的敏感部位,我肉麻得一匹!但无论如何,都要请叔叔借兵与我,咱们也早点收工。”
刘焉说道:“贤侄,我这里除去守城的官兵外,只剩47oo人,要不你先借我3oo,我凑齐了再借你如何?”
张飞一听:“有道理!”
关羽转身对站在身后的张飞骂道:“有毛线道理!这是高级仙人跳,还是提前跳,甲方秒变乙方!”
刘焉一听,面露不悦:“豁!想不到这个单眼皮还知道仙人提前跳。”
关羽:“他叔,我这叫丹凤眼!谢谢!”
刘焉:“不客气,单眼皮。不过话说回来,既然来到我的府地,又要向我借兵马,理当顺着我的毛和我说话。”
话音刚落,就见刘备上前抚摸着刘焉的头。
刘焉一把打开刘备的手,斜眼看向刘备:“没大没小,小心我扁你!”
然后继续说道:“想当年,高祖也是问项羽借5ooo兵马,我就奇了怪了,为什么就一定要5ooo?是编剧没文化,还是大脑没创意?剧情如此雷同!4999难道就不行吗?”
关羽一听说道:“不行,老叔,大哥交代了,少一个人我们就扁你!”
刘焉怒怼关羽道:“他贤二侄,我看你是来挑事的。哼!常言道,人争一口气,佛争一炷香!尔等想在我的地盘撒野?!岂不闻,强龙不压地头……”
蛇字还没说出口,就见关羽、张飞同步掏出手枪,齐刷刷的指向刘焉方向。
刘焉一看,愣住了。
刘备一看,脸色变煞白并惊叫一声:“翼德!”
便急忙跑向张飞。
原来是张飞操之过急,只想着同步拔枪,却误把枪口对准了站在自己前面的关羽,刘备急忙上前,轻轻推开了张飞的枪,对向刘焉方向,着实把刘备吓出一身冷汗!
刘焉:“老子没被单眼皮吓到,差点让这个大黑脸给吓死,这近视很严重啊!”
关羽知道后也差点吓鸟:“下次你站老子前面……”
刘焉一看,急忙说道:“刚才这个动作太危险了,高血压把我的肾结石都冲出来了。有话好说,借什么借,这不是把老叔当外人嘛,5ooo人马,直接送你们了!”
说完邀三兄弟继续共饮,示意刘备收了二人的枪,并立马当面吩咐邹靖,备了5ooo兵马给刘备前去救援青州。
青州有救,三雄来了……
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