第九章 初得神兵(第1页)
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刘备打断二人:“二弟三弟,休再自嗨,置办兵器要紧!”
二人领命退下,各自张罗去了。
不一会儿,二人返回面见刘备,关羽:“大哥,镔铁已送至锻造房。”
张飞:“我已经命人重金请来铸剑大师——薛烛!大师这会儿已经在锻造房,他说要亲自为大哥锻造双股神剑!”
关羽说道:“听闻薛烛大师,铸剑与相剑双修,实力加偶像派!”
刘备感慨:“大师果然是大师,做事靠谱!你们看,人家还知道擒贼先擒王的道理,先给我铸剑,颇懂礼数,非常有生活阅历,备胜感欣慰!翼德带路,我要亲自前去,当面表示谢意!”
话音未落,只听有人急报:“报……!将军,薛烛大师锻造兵器时不慎砸到自己的大拇指,现已休克送医!”
关羽一听,震惊不已:“什么飞机?!”
张飞:“哦豁!这下,大哥的谢意他估计是领不到了!”
刘备怒火冲天,斥责道:“闻所未闻!还堂堂大师,什么相铸双修,我呸!砸自己的大拇指是几个意思?!还有脸去送医,让他死了算了,我要去杀了这个沙雕,送他去陪我太奶奶!”
说完就要去砍大师,关羽、张飞连忙阻拦相劝。关羽拉着刘备说:“大哥息怒!如今正是用人之际,况且人家还有那么多弟子正在给咱们赶工,俗话说英雄也有走火的时候。
毕竟他这个甩尿都需要腰部助力的年纪,他的存在更像是一种对传统文化的鼓励,象征意义远大过实际意义!”
刘备:“云长到底是个起夜拉屎都要读《春秋》的人,大军出之际,你给我弘扬起了文化的重要性。要不怎么说翼德比你接地气,不信你让三弟给一个放过薛烛的理由!”
张飞略加思索:“马上就要带兄弟们去摆造型了,每人一把西瓜刀总要打造吧?”
刘备:“see!”
张飞:“大哥过奖!”
关羽:“我……你们……”
刘备:“再拽文嘛!”
张飞:“还是再找个大师,把我和二哥那牛批哄哄的兵器先搞出来,其他的都好说。”
刘备整理了一下衣冠说道:“做梦娶媳妇,你们的兵器牛吹过头了,哪有那么好弄的?”
关羽一听,抱怨道:“那你天花乱坠的说半天,就画两个饼给我和三弟做武器?!”
张飞也说:“没武器,演个毛,不玩了!”
刘备忙说:“且慢,我早就料到本书作者靠不住,但我已备有一计,后日一早兵器会准时出现在你们面前!”
关羽:“大哥,此处不能撒谎,否则耶稣都救不了你,读者说的!”
话音一落,张飞突然低下头,大叫一声:“啊打!”
然后歪头看向一侧,右手握拳伸出大拇指,从右到左刮了一下鼻孔。然后咬着牙,伸出下巴,收起大拇指,伸出食指,对着刘备左右晃动,一字一句的说道:“我读书少,你不要骗我!”
说完用手指向地面继续说道:“是不是我从这里走出去,后天我就能见到丈八蛇矛?!”
关羽一把拽开张飞:“戏精!小龙哥电影看多了吧?!”
说完看向刘备:“咱们兄弟一场。我俩不像你,忽悠功力已入化境!安慰我们时总是一套一套的,而我安慰自己的时候,却只想拿绳子往自己脖子上一套!”
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