第3章 天界(第1页)
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天界永远是快乐和祥和的,闪着金光的亭台楼阁在缥缈的白云中忽隐忽现,不时传来一丝若有若无的丝竹之声,养心殿里美丽的仙女挥着长袖在空中翩翩而舞。天界最着名的蟠桃盛会正在召开,歪戴着九龙捧天冠的玉帝搂着皱着眉头的佛祖兴致勃勃地说着什么,王母和观音躲在酒坛子后面比谁的胸大,麻姑和龙女在一旁手忙脚乱得拿着尺子量来量去,各路神仙已经喝的面红耳热,东摇西晃。
太白金星拉着劝酒的红衣仙女大着舌头说“红衣姐姐,我给你说个谜,你猜中了我喝一大坛,猜不中让我亲一下。”
红衣仙女毫不示弱“好呀,你可不许赖账!”
。
“说有这么一样东西,我有你没有,这样东西黑黑的,有时候撅起来,有时候耷拉着,撅起来的时候少,耷拉着的时候长。”
太白金星摸着红衣仙女绵绵的小手,装作一本正经的说道。
“嘻嘻嘻,老神仙你好坏呀!”
红衣仙女作势要跑。太白金星顺手把红衣仙女拉到怀里,笑道“红衣姐姐想歪了,我说的是胡子,来,让我亲一下。”
“唔,讨厌,讨厌。”
红衣仙女扭动着腰肢,捶着太白的胸脯。谁料太白金星高兴得过了头,动作大了点,不小心将酒壶碰在地上。咣当,随着一声脆响,东倒西歪的神仙们个个正襟危坐,一脸神圣地朝声音的源地看去。只见太白金星正伸手把刚扔在地上的仙女姐姐扶起来,对她说“仙子你喝多了,还不快把摔碎的酒壶捡起来,免得扎坏各位仙人的脚,多添罪过。”
红衣仙女大怒,心说“好个老王八,你倒挺会说话”
。可又不敢与太白争辩,只得把碎片收起,委委屈屈的跪倒在王母面前请罪。想到当初卷帘大将不过摔碎了一个酒杯,就被打落凡间,不禁手脚软,身体乱颤。“奴婢万死。刚才奴婢见各位大人兴高采烈,人人欢畅,又想到如今下界风调雨顺,四海升平,天界君明臣贤,无忧无虑。不禁忘形而舞,失手将酒壶碰倒在地,请王母恕罪!”
言必匍匐在地,不住啜泣。
王母在刚才的竞赛中刚赢了观音,心情颇佳。见状忙和颜悦色地说“我女不必惊慌,酒壶乃是玩物,碎了就碎了吧。你且退下,不要影响各位仙长吃酒。”
红衣仙女大喜道“谢王母!”
心想人要走运了不知道哪块云彩有雨,这辈子我也不参加蟠桃会了。飞快的跑回家,收拾收拾东西溜之大吉,免的王母事后肉疼,找自己的小茬出气。
经这么一闹,神仙们的就都清醒了不少。佛祖趁机推开唾沫星子乱溅的玉帝,用浑厚的声音说道“王母胸怀坦荡,度量如海,天地万物,皆感王母恩泽。”
王母闻言大悦。旁边的观音输了比赛,正在气恼,这时又听佛祖胡言乱语,瞎拍马屁,忍不住气道“碎了个酒壶不追究,就度量如海,万物感其恩泽。那要让猪生个人出来,岂不是三十三天诸神佛都要伏地而拜了。”
佛祖见观音怒,连忙闭紧了嘴巴,不吭一声。王母微微一笑,看在观音输给自己的份上装听不见。唯被酒精麻醉了感官的玉帝,笑眯眯的对观音说;“大士见闻广博,什么猪呀人呀,朕刚才没有听清,能否再说一遍,让朕也长长见识?”
观音怒极,低头一言不。
佛祖见观音尴尬,怎肯放过这将功补过的机会,连忙说道“刚才大士言道,世间万物,灵魂为重,只要灵魂善加修炼,万物皆可成佛。即使是猪,若有了人的灵魂,百兽也将伏地而拜。”
玉帝短着舌头笑道“非也、非也,灵魂虽然重要,也要看赋予何物,毕竟天下灵魂无数,能修成正果的万中无一。且不说成佛做祖,单说猪若有了灵魂,不过还是一只猪而已,怎可令百兽臣服?朕看佛祖你喝高了吧。”
王母在旁笑道“佛祖不过转诉大士的话罢了,毕竟事无绝对,大士家的猪当然要比老虎威风。”
观音蹦起来叫道“我不养猪——!不过猪若有了人的灵魂,必然不甘人后,兽王也不过如此。贫僧愿与你打赌,以净瓶为注。”
玉帝没料到能捡到这么大的便宜,顿时愣住。,还是王母反应快,将手一伸,“赌了,我以乾坤社稷图为注,玉帝作为公证。”
玉帝大喜,连说“好,好。”
太上老君在一旁见有利可图,也不甘寂寞,连忙喊道“算贫道一个,我押至宝金刚琢,赌王母娘娘胜,奖品平分”
。王母一听,到嘴的鸭子要两个人吃,很是不爽。马上恶狠狠地盯着老君“又没人做庄,你蹦出来干什么?”
。
观音借着酒劲,甩掉佛祖拉自己袖子的手,很不精明地大叫“跟谁赌我都不怕,贫僧再加金莲宝座,输了的话你们一人一件!”
佛祖见事越闹越大,而且祸是自己惹出来的,不好意思抽身事外,只得在旁帮腔道“贫僧觉得大士所言及是,贫僧赌大士赢,这个……”
想了半天,方道“贫僧以凡界进贡的金刚经为注。”
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