第120页(第1页)
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许久许久,颈项边,近距离感受到杨延光的粗重呼吸:“那一年,在边关战场上,我也像现在这般皆尽全力驭马奔驰,想要摆脱穷追不舍的南魏敌军。”
“原以为自己死无葬身之地,没料到,三生有幸返回盛京,亲眼目睹你的容姿……在假扮成‘昭平无忌’很长一段时间里,每每隔著远远地瞧见你对怀王展露笑颜,我总忍不住问自己,‘拓跋平原他有什么好?能像二哥悄悄藏着感情,数十年如一日挚爱你?’”
他的断臂,血正源源不断向外涌,幽幽黑眸一刻不离的死盯着我:“我不甘心,不甘心抱守着你的灵牌一个人苦思追忆的往昔岁月,在你看来无足轻重!风三弟他有什么好?贺兰芮之又有什么好?能比得过二哥把你当成妻,永远放进心底?”
“你忘了,我从未爱上你。”
我咬着牙,一字一顿。
“对,你是不爱我。因为你天性犯贱,只喜欢待你薄情寡义的男人……起初是贺兰芮之,然后是拓跋平原,最终,贺兰栖真亦如斯。”
唇色尽失的杨延光深深喘息着,将头轻轻倚靠在我的肩膀。
“小时候,我把风三弟的拨浪鼓抢来逗你开心,你不肯收,觉得我以大欺小非君子所为;等到长大了,我把自己的真心当成‘拨浪鼓’送予你把玩,你仍不肯收,觉得我以强欺弱实属卑鄙小人……”
“你企图奸污我,不是卑鄙小人又算作什么?”
杨延光费力地把头贴近我的耳边,艰难道:“你因此事恨我,我丝毫不敢推搪。但风三弟曾有意在暖香阁借酒醉污辱你,你为何不恨他,不去杀他?”
“那天,我若有意取你性命,你根本没机会活着。”
“对,你不是有心伤我,却是诚心利用我,欲利用‘昭平无忌’的身份伺机对付太皇太后,对付韶王。”
杨延光抿唇虚弱一笑,眸底有猜不透的黯淡光芒,“姝儿,你这一生,单纯善良得只会被刻薄寡恩的男人算计,何曾狠下心肠利用他人?可惜,你舍得利用我、利用惟一一个待你心无异致的二哥。”
“……”
“今夜,他们争夺你、各怀心思害怕失去你。然而,你若不是长得神似容成惠玥,贺兰栖真会担忧你的死活?你若不是怀有身孕,风三弟会心存愧疚放弃叶静芸?至于韶王、怀王,他们待你又存有几分真心?”
“……”
“只有我,由始至终你最怨恨的二哥……真心真意喜欢你,从未介意你长得像谁,从未计较你有多少利用价值。”
“……”
“也无妨。”
杨延光苍白的脸上绽开一抹少见的疲惫笑容,“你亏欠我的,以死抵偿罢。”
话音未落,颠簸视野里重山叠嶂渐渐逼近——
断崖,骤现。
“你先死,我便心安。”
一句阴鸷冰冷的警告,毫无防备的我被猝然甩下马,抛向无底深渊。陌生却又熟悉的急速坠落感,不,是适时止歇的悬垂感,源于求生欲望强烈的我紧紧攀住了崖壁砂石。
“杨延光,你要做什么?”
我仍惊魂未定,耳畔,忽然听见几声不约而同的错愕喝止,“快放开她!”
一双沾满尘土的鞋履,重重践踏住我攀附石壁不肯放开的十指:“放了她?好说,一命抵一命,你们几个谁肯主动跳下去?怀王殿下,你肯么?”
拓跋平原站得并不遥远,我勉强仰起脸见到他眼底的神采,没有惊诧没有羞恼,惟剩镇静如水:“杨排风,你还记不记得疹疫期间许下的承诺?若痊愈,必替本王完成三件事。”
杨延光冷嗤,我却因突如其来的心悸而呼吸一窒。
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