第3章 努力前行(第1页)
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当你尝尽了社会的残酷,生存的压力、感情的不堪、崩溃时的无助,你才会真正明白,不努力会有多惨。
你要清楚,努力赚钱,好好经营,不要谈什么岁月静好,不要谈什么静等花开,。当一分钱难倒英雄汉在你身上上演的时候,什么脸不脸的,什么爱不爱的,统统都是浮云。
成年人的世界,实力才是你的尊严,没有等来的辉煌,只有拼来的精彩。既然选择了此生就要放下执念,努力前行。
今天一个人坐了很久很久很久,想了很多很多很多的事……久到无法释怀,想到夜不能寐。可是我回头看了一下,这不是当初我自己愿意跳进来的吗?一段婚姻走到了尽头,也许并不是你变心了也不是你不爱了,只是人家变了心,不是不爱了只是爱的不是你了。而是在相处的过程中,所有的期待变成了失望,所有的沟通变成了争吵和冷战以及拉黑,爱情可以抛开生活去谈,而婚姻的本质就是生活。然而生活不是童话,结婚照上的笑容,并不是此后生活的全部表情。
刚结婚的时候觉得挺好的,有了孩子那一刻也感觉挺好。可是过着过着就没有从前那个味道。精神交流和情感沟通的缺失,逐渐让我怀疑起这份婚姻它存在的实际意义。原因很简单,不是因为你穷,而是因为你改变不了,我也忍不了,一生太漫长太难熬了。我没有大手大脚花你的钱,我处处为你着想,你却让我觉得,我是这个世界最糟糕的女人,从满心欢喜直到彻底绝望,你已经把我所有的热情消耗殆尽了。我想让自己幸福,是踏踏实实从心里全都幸福,怎么就那么难啊!这种滋味太难受了。
抓不住的东西,连伸手都是多余的,能被抢走的人,本质就是个渣。再过下去我自己都瞧不起自己,既然你不懂婚姻的意义,那么我就教你,从失去我和孩子开始,我们好聚好散吧,来时没奢求离时亦坦然,始于心甘情愿,终于愿赌服输。终有一天你会静下心来,像个局外人一样回顾自己的故事,你曾努力过,尽力过,珍惜过,你问心无愧了。所以,能够治愈你的,从来就不是时间,而是内心的那份释怀和明白!
后来我才知道,原来你说在钓鱼的那段日子,是在陪那个女人吃饭逛街,你把她放在心尖上冷落我欺瞒我,而我却在家里一晚上一晚上的心疼你熬夜疲惫,伤害我你真的就那么心安吗?。你明明知道这是我的底线,可你还是做了,还是触碰了,经营了这么多年的家,被你用这么不堪的方式拆了,所有的安全感和信任瞬间崩塌,说万箭穿心都不为过,杀人不过头点地,诛心。
晚上1o点半了,外面狂风暴雨,自己又咳嗽的厉害,我不过打电话叫你不要钧鱼回来好了。你倒好了半夜三更十二点多才回家,还倒打一耙,说钧个鱼都不安心,直接微信电话拉黑,那时迟钝的我还严重怀疑是不是自己做错事了,现在想想才现自己傻了,狂风暴雨会有人钓鱼吗?所以装睡的人永远叫不醒。
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